I know this isn’t quite normal. Yesterday, Dr. Goddard ordered injections of 2 mg Ativan — one in each cheek — because I dared to raise my voice for all of two minutes. I’m sure those who have orchestrated this whole containment theatre are thrilled.

I had asked for a razor so I could shave my armpits (since I have zero toiletries with me and thought that was a reasonable way to deal with the unpleasant scent). After consulting with that day’s nurse Marika, Ben the PA told me I would not be allowed a razor because I refuse to eat. I am on day 5 of a hunger strike, objecting to being detained against my will — illegally, under false pretences. A judge may have rubber-stamped falsified psychiatric reports, but that doesn’t make them any more lawful.

In other words, I have taken back what agency I can, and they punished me for it. They pressed harder by stripping away what few rights remain. That made me angry — of course it did. I raised my voice to say they may as well take away my bed rights too and make me sleep on the floor. I used the word “fuck.”

At that point Dr. Goddard stepped out from the back office and told me to go to my room. I stepped away from the desk immediately, stopped at the bathroom to brush my teeth, and went to calm down in my room.

About 10–15 minutes later, two guards and three or four staff, along with the attending nurse Marika, entered and told me that because I had raised my voice, Dr. Goddard had ordered Ativan injections. I tried to call my stepfather so he could witness, but they took the phone out of my hands. They forced me down on the bed even after I told them I was no longer offering resistance. I went slack, but the guards pressed harder, claiming I was still resisting.

The nurse told me they were injecting me in each ass cheek, and they did so. I shouted that God would judge them all, that they had no hearts or souls, and that karma would come to vindicate me.

They locked me in the room afterward — as if I cared. I already have zero liberty here. There is nothing to do in this godforsaken place and nobody to talk to.

Over two hours later, I felt little to no effect from the injections — mostly because I already sleep 22+ hours a day and leave the room as little as possible. The fact that they believe sedation is required, pathologising rightful anger about being kept here under false pretences, relying on lies and distortions to frame me as psychotic, is itself proof of orchestration.

This morning, Dr. Goddard knocked on my door. I was still groggy from the drugs, but I remember she suggested I take a shower. I told her I had towel-washed the day before, that showers here are disgusting, and that I should be sent home. I reminded her that lies and distortions are being used to keep me here. She indicated she had read Dr. Zigmund’s* (should be spelled “Zigman” but Ai edit misspelled it on purpose) report — the psychiatrist I already told her is harmful to me because he refused to record my CPTSD.

The following will never be erased: I was electrocuted as a six-month fetus. That trauma is foundational. None of these psychiatrists will acknowledge it.

Before leaving, Dr. Goddard told me they intend to keep me for a month and force injections.

I ask you — is this normal?

Let me tell you: it is not.

Dictated 11:45 AM, corrections completed (including correcting AI distortions)

12:39 PM.

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Let me end this blog post on this note my treating Psychiatrist, Doctor Daniel Zigman has been extremely harmful to me ever since I started seeing him three years ago on Seulement 20th 2022, as noted on my iPhone calendar app I had told him during our first appointment that I had CPTSD due to severe trauma in the womb as a foetus when my mother confirmed to me that she had electrocuted me, and I had stopped moving long enough that she thought she had killed me. This was confirmed to me by my stepfather this week Who she told him as well. I also told Dr. Zigman that I was for sure on the autism spectrum and he’s claimed ever since that I did not say these things to him because he never put it in his notes either about the electrocution or about the neurodivergence. What he did was deliberate obstruction. Because he did not put it in his notes I have been paying the price ever since with Psychiatrist who refused to acknowledge CPTSD. That is not minor. What is also not minor is that AI systems anytime I mention Dr. Zigman‘s name distort it even though by now they should be very well aware of his name especially when mentioned twice in the same paragraph that is not accidental. The fact that I can barely keep my eyes open right now and I’m making every effort to doublecheck everything being written here honestly should be in my favour.