Recently, I had an exchange with someone I’ll call Stephanie who claimed to be a Christian and started quoting scripture at me. She used it to dismiss my perspective and insult my intelligence, claiming I was “too dumb to exist” because I didn’t agree with her interpretation of the moon landing—she is convinced the moon landing never happened because the footage “looks fake.” While I won’t dive into why I think this is an absurd conspiracy theory, what struck me most was how quickly she dismissed anyone who pushed back on her by saying they were “dumb” for not believing what she believed was obvious—that the footage isn’t believable to her. She went on to claim people who think the moon landing actually happened “have no brain.”
I couldn’t help but point out to her that all mammals are equipped with a brain, and that some are more adept than others at using it for logical reasoning. She then turned to scripture as a weapon to invalidate my point of view.
The Toxic Exchange
Stephanie: girl you can’t tell that live footage was fake?? Then you ma’am have no brain!
Me: Ah, yes. The scientific method: ‘Looks fake to me.’ Brilliant. Also, as I just pointed out to you in my previous comment, if you knew how to read: every single mammal on earth is equipped with a brain. Bold of you to assume your judgment overrides, you know… all recorded history and scientific facts. But go off, I’ll say you’re right to appease your fragile ego: I have no brain. 🧠😑
Stephanie: Proverbs 20:3: “A person of honor will put an argument to rest. Only the stupid want to pick a fight” 🙌
Me: Interesting choice of scripture after you spent all this time arguing and insulting me. You good? 🤨
Stephanie: oh wow you’re so dumb.. Put down your phone. Read your Bible. If you can’t tell that video is so obviously fake you’re too dumb to exist..but you do and Jesus loves you so I’ll pray for you. Being as you being a fool wants to argue you seem to need prayers more 🙏🙏🙏
The Lessons Learned
Stephanie’s attempt to use scripture to belittle me was so far removed from any message of love or compassion that it was almost surreal. The irony wasn’t lost on me: She wanted me to pray to Jesus for guidance while simultaneously calling me “too dumb to live” and hurling insults my way. It became clear to me that her understanding of her faith, at least in that moment, was about proving herself right, rather than embodying the humility and love that faith should stand for.
You may wonder why I was wasting my time arguing with someone who displayed such clearly limited intellectual bandwidth. I was engaged in this battle of so-called wits, but this became clear to me after the dust had settled and I had a conversation with Lex about it.
When she started throwing scripture at me, it had nothing to do with preaching love and kindness—it was about using scripture as a weapon to belittle me when she ran out of logical arguments to rebut mine. I shouldn’t have been surprised, as I instinctively felt she must have only recently “found Jesus,” but this tendency to turn to preachiness isn’t exclusive to Christianity; many belief systems have this issue. The exchange itself felt more about ego than anything else, and what it highlighted for me was that this is where toxic behaviour in any belief system begins: when the ideas, faith, or cause become a tool of superiority rather than a humble guide for personal growth and understanding. In my experience, this form of “advocacy” only pushes others further away and solidifies the divide.
Faith—in any form—is about how you live it. It’s not about wielding it as a weapon to make yourself feel superior or dismiss others who don’t share your beliefs. It’s about embodying the principles of love, humility, and respect in everyday life, without forcing it on others.
The Danger of Toxic Discourse in Any System
This kind of behavior—using beliefs to shame and control rather than lead by example—isn’t limited to religion. It happens in any ideology, movement, or cause when personal conviction turns into dogma. Whether we’re talking about political ideologies, social movements, or lifestyle choices, when people begin using their beliefs as tools for power, judgment, or dominance rather than for understanding, they end up undermining the very cause they claim to support.
We’ve seen this all too often: toxic voices within any movement shutting down opposing viewpoints or attempting to force others into submission. It can happen in any political movement, from the Left to the Right, in LGBTQ advocacy, feminism, environmentalism, and really, in any cause with a strong moral foundation. But it’s not just those with moral ideals—causes that seek to deconstruct or challenge the status quo can also fall prey to this toxic dynamic. Whether it’s anarchism, certain strands of queer theory, or even alternative lifestyle choices, when beliefs become a tool for control, they risk being weaponized and losing sight of the greater purpose.
When the discourse becomes more about shaming, dividing, and silencing those who disagree rather than educating, uniting, and fostering understanding, it distracts from the original message and alienates those who might otherwise be open to learning. This kind of behavior pushes people to become reactionary—either rejecting spirituality or becoming hostile toward movements and individuals advocating for causes they believe in, all while shaming anyone who refuses to conform to their sense of moral purity.
The Importance of Nuance in Advocacy
True advocacy is about engaging with the differences, respecting different experiences, and working towards common ground, not about forcing everyone to adopt the same beliefs. It’s about educating and providing space for understanding, not shaming those who might not be ready to accept every aspect of the ideology right away. The best advocates lead by example, not by forcing their views on others. And nuance—the willingness to listen and acknowledge complexity—is essential to making any cause sustainable and inclusive.
Final Thoughts
If we want to build a world where ideas can be freely exchanged, we need to ensure that we respect others’ right to their opinions, even when we disagree. This doesn’t mean we have to accept harmful behaviour or let toxic voices go unchecked, but it does mean that we can create a space where dialogue can happen without judgment and with respect for the diversity of thought.
I want to say to all the Stephanies out there, if you want to bring other people around to your way of thinking, live by your beliefs and be a role model, rather than just parroting rhetoric. Try being respectful and thoughtful. The real value in your message comes from your actions, not just words. Authenticity and responsibility will always resonate more than quoting scripture or whatever manual on life you’re basing your beliefs on. Compassion should always be at the very core of your belief system.
- A Christmas gift to myself
- A few of the drawings I destroyed this year
- THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 5
- THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 4
- “I like rocks.”
Totally Surreal 
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