In a neighborhood where we’re meant to come together and support each other, I reached out to a Facebook community group to address some hateful comments targeting mental health issues. I felt it was important to foster respect and understanding, particularly on a topic as crucial as mental health. But instead of a productive conversation, I was met with silence, dismissiveness, and a moderator treating the situation as a joke.

---

The Post I Tried to Share Anonymously

(Translated from French):

“To those who feel entitled to make hateful comments about mental health issues in this group, know that your remarks are not only inappropriate but also against the rules of this group as well as Facebook’s community standards.

I’ve reported numerous fake accounts and hateful comments to Facebook in the past, without any action being taken. Today, I received two notifications indicating that two of the comments aimed at me here have been deleted. Mental health is a crucial issue in our society; many of us suffer from invisible illnesses that profoundly and irreparably affect our lives. Ridiculing these issues or making thoughtless insults should never be tolerated.

Thanks to the admins and Facebook for taking action to remove these comments. I wish everyone good health and happiness.”

---

The Response (Or Lack Thereof):

Despite the fact that this post was submitted anonymously and aligned with group rules, it was never approved. The admins stayed silent even after I followed up, asking politely if there was an issue with the post.

When I finally pressed them for an answer, this was the exchange that followed:

Me (First Message): Hello Tommy, I noticed my post is still pending approval. Is there something in its content that needs adjusting? I thought it was important to highlight the removal of inappropriate comments about mental health by Facebook, and I hoped it might encourage a more respectful atmosphere in the group. If anything needs to be rephrased, I’m happy to do so. Thank you for getting back to me!

Him (After Days of Silence): The group isn’t a personal page. Please respect the rules.

Him (Follow-up): It’s not a public tribunal either.

Him: And don’t worry, we moderate the group just fine.

Him: Just report the comments 🙂

Me: Just to clarify, this isn’t about personal drama. I was trying to address a serious issue concerning mental health and raise awareness about the importance of respectful communication.

Reporting comments only solves the problem after after the fact once the damage has already been done. Most users don’t even read the rules, let alone follow them. This is about prevention and fostering a safer environment.

Him: Okay, I see. But no matter how much we moderate, there’ll always be disrespectful people. We can’t be perfect. That’s why reporting helps us deal with it when needed.

Me: I can appreciate how difficult moderating a group like this must be, but if you’re unwilling to approve educational posts like mine, you’re not contributing to a safer, more respectful environment. Allowing constructive dialogue about mental health shouldn’t be dismissed as unnecessary, much less censored.

Him: It’s not censorship. Just follow the rules. Like it or not.

Him (Continuing): Have a nice day.

Him: It’s a group.

Him: You can post whatever you want On your own page,

Him: Anyone can post “educational” stuff. That’s not the point of the group.

Him: We need to keep a continuity going.

Me: I can see now that this administration isn’t interested in creating a safe environment. It’s disappointing. Addressing important topics like mental health respectfully is essential for fostering a secure space.

Him: That’s your interpretation.

Him: We already do that 😉

Him: That’s our job. Not yours.

Me: I’m clearly speaking to the wrong person. Respectful dialogue about mental health isn’t just an opinion—it’s a social responsibility.

Him: Have a nice day.

Me: I understand now why the group feels so toxic. This attitude starts at the top. I’ll be leaving the group and reporting this to Facebook, as the mental health of its members clearly isn’t a priority for the administration. His reaction: 😆

Me: Your reaction is completely inappropriate. His reaction: 😆

Me: Frankly, you’re being disrespectful.

Me: That sums up the tone of the entire group.

Him: Have a nice day.

---

Needless to say, dear reader, I left that community group. That right there was a masterclass in empathy. If you’re ever wondering why toxic online environments persist, it might just have something to do with moderators who—literally—don’t give a f*** and treat mental health as a joke. 😑

One of my favourite murals in Hochelaga, Montreal, Quebec