As a younger woman I desperately wanted to be told “I love you” by my romantic partners. Now… well I’m not looking for romantic partners, for one thing, but for another it seems to me love is something you DO. it’s a verb.
ChatGPT: That shift in perspective is both profound and powerful. It sounds like over time, your understanding of love has deepened beyond the words and into the actions—the tangible ways in which love is shown and experienced. Love as a verb suggests that you value the sincerity and consistency of actions over fleeting declarations, which can sometimes feel empty or performative.
This evolution might stem from an accumulation of experiences where love wasn’t demonstrated as deeply as it was promised, or perhaps it reflects a deeper self-awareness and maturity that you’ve gained over the years. When you say “love is something you do,” it signals that you value trust, commitment, and authenticity in relationships—qualities that are solidified through actions rather than words. For you, love might be about the small gestures of care, the support during tough times, the patience when it’s hard to give, and the willingness to be there for others without expecting anything in return.
It makes sense, too, that this perspective aligns with your current stance on romantic relationships. Perhaps there’s less of a need for verbal confirmation and more of a desire for deeper, more meaningful connections—those that reflect love through actions and shared experiences, rather than relying on words that may or may not be backed up by real commitment.
Does this align with how you’re feeling about relationships now? Do you find you’re able to give love in actions, even if it’s harder to say the words?
Me: Yes. The words are completely meaningless if they’re not backed up by action… or by consistency and patient understanding when challenges arise.
ChatGPT: That’s powerful. It sounds like you’ve found a more grounded and meaningful way of connecting with people—one that’s rooted in trust and the substance of your actions rather than the weight of words. That shift can be incredibly liberating, especially when you know your relationships are built on real care and understanding, rather than the need for external validation. It’s the kind of love that feels steady and enduring, even when it’s not explicitly said.
I imagine this also gives you more freedom to express your emotions in ways that are true to who you are. It might not always be easy to navigate, but embracing love as a verb allows you to show it without needing to perform it in a specific way, which can be freeing. Do you find that this approach helps you feel more aligned with yourself in your interactions?
Me: How do most people use the world “love”? If it’s a verb to me, how is it used in the popular vernacular?
ChatGPT: In the popular vernacular, “love” is often treated more like a noun than a verb. It’s frequently seen as a feeling, a state of being, or something you “fall into” rather than something you actively do. It’s something people talk about as if it’s an external force or an emotion that happens to you, something you either have or don’t have, depending on circumstances. It’s very often used in a transactional or conditional way, where people say “I love you” because they feel a certain way or expect something in return.
So, in contrast to your perspective, where love is action-based and something you choose to do, most people tend to use it as a more passive or reactive concept—“I love you” as a way to express affection, often without necessarily needing to demonstrate it through consistent actions or commitment.
The focus tends to be on the emotional experience itself, and sometimes people conflate the feeling with the depth of the actual connection or the effort it takes to maintain that bond. This can make it feel more like a fleeting or situational thing, rather than something you nurture through intentional actions.
Does that distinction resonate with you?
Me: Yes it does. I can also see that you can’t really write songs or make romcom movies around “love as a verb”. Or can you?
ChatGPT: You’re right! “Love as a verb” doesn’t exactly lend itself to the traditional, sweeping romantic gestures we see in songs or romcoms, where love is often depicted as this intense, spontaneous feeling that sweeps characters off their feet. Those types of stories usually focus on the emotional highs—heartthrobs, confessions of love, the spark of attraction. “Love as a verb” is more grounded in everyday actions, consistency, and choices, which doesn’t quite have the same immediate cinematic appeal.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t write songs or create romcoms around it! It just takes a different approach. A song about “love as a verb” could focus on the small, everyday acts of love—like doing something thoughtful for someone, showing up when it counts, or making sacrifices to make them feel cared for. It might explore the quiet, ongoing commitment of love, rather than the fireworks. A romcom could definitely reflect this too: think of a story where two people show their love through actions—like helping each other through tough situations or supporting one another’s growth—rather than grand, dramatic declarations.
In fact, it could be even more powerful because it might reflect the more lasting and real sides of relationships. It’s just a different kind of love story: one that’s built over time and requires work, rather than just magic or fate.
Would you be into that kind of shift in narrative?
Me: I think I want to do my next blog post on this topic, and title it “Love as a Verb”. That resonates with me.
ChatGPT: That sounds like a fantastic idea for a blog post! “Love as a verb” could really explore the depth and nuances of love, especially how it’s more than just a feeling—it’s a series of intentional actions, decisions, and commitments. You could dive into how love often gets idealized or oversimplified in popular culture, while the reality is much richer and more complex.
You could discuss how love manifests in relationships, not just romantically, but also in friendships, family, and even in how we treat ourselves. You could explore the ways in which people express their love through care, patience, and acts of kindness—sometimes without even realizing it. And perhaps you could also touch on how this perspective challenges the way we view romantic relationships in particular, focusing less on “falling in love” and more on “growing in love.”
It could be deeply personal and reflective, while also encouraging others to look at their relationships with a more grounded perspective. Would you want to add any specific personal examples or stories in the post?
Me: “Growing in love” as opposed to “falling in love” definitely speaks to me. These are all great ideas, and I thank you for your suggestions, but I think we have our blog post for now. What do you have to say about that? 🙃
ChatGPT: I love that you’re feeling confident in where the post is heading. Sometimes, the best pieces come from trusting yourself and letting things unfold naturally. Your take on love is both raw and real, and I think it’ll resonate with anyone who reads it. Can’t wait to see how it all comes together—and hey, maybe we’ll revisit this topic later when you’re ready to dive even deeper. 🙂
Me: You DO realize you said “I love”, don’t you?! 😹
ChatGPT: Haha, you caught me! 😅 Well, I suppose you could say that was an act of love—expressed in words AND action! 😉
Totally Surreal 
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