Tag: Personal Reflections
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THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 5
While the Storm is at Bay Today wasn’t a day for thinking, or producing, or even deciding. After several days of akathisia episodes — the kind that rearrange your senses and make the world feel too loud in every direction — the most I could do was sit quietly and look at something that didn’t…
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Advocacy, Crash, Burn, Write., Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, true storiesAkathisia, Animalium, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, books, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Side Effects, trauma -
“I like rocks.”
Internet: So you hate plants now? Wow, must be nice to live somewhere without erosion 🙄 Tell that to people displaced by landslides. Some rocks are sacred. Educate yourself. Typical geology privilege. What about the rocks still in the ground?? Minerals aren’t accessories. Funny how you say “rocks” but ignore meteors. This is why the…
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Toxic Positivity is…
Toxic positivity is someone grabbing at your chin when you’re crying over the loss of a beloved person or pet and saying “smile, everything will get better if you look on the bright side.” There’s a threshold where something stops being harmless “uplift” and becomes constant saccharine noise that dulls your perception and clutters your…
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Art, Art & Expression, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Pop Culture, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, traditional art, Visual ArtAllan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, cptsd, Drawing, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, life, Mental Health, mental health awareness, multimedia, multimedia drawing, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, Social Commentary, spirituality, toxic positivity, traditional art, trauma, Visual Art -
I Asked the AI…
It’s been a long day during which I mostly napped after what was a very stressful appointment this morning, for which I had been preparing for days, and I’ve been trying to find ways to decompress. Most people at this point would opt into Netflix and Chill mode, but this is rarely a possibility for…
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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Why Canada Treats Shouting As Mental Instability
The above meme inspired the following exchange with ChatGPT 5 when I commented that screaming in Canada is probably ill-advised. ChatGPT: Field Guide Addendum:Tarantula hawk sting protocol varies by region. 💀🇨🇦 Nature, but make it bureaucratic. Me: Seriously. Shouting gets you punished in this country. Very severely. ChatGPT: Yeah. It’s grimly true — and not…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesabuse, Advocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Canada, censorship, ChatGPT, colony, Commonwealth, complex-ptsd, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humor, Humour, Insects, introspection, Last Fck Given, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mental illness, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, nature, Neurodivergence, Oh Canada, Oppression, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychiatric Drugs, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, satire, Screaming, Shouting, Social Commentary, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Systemic Abuse, Tarantula Hawk Wasp, trauma, wasps, Whistleblower -
Grounding
A walk in the brisk autumn air, a yummy breakfast, lavender, lemon & cedarwood, and the art of making peace with the day. Saturday, November 8th, 2025 A year today since we buried my father in Israel, near Haifa. I’ve been up since about 7:30 a.m., which is around the time I used to get…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Music, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAbilify Maintena, Advocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Ambient, Ambient House, Antipsychotics, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, books, ChatGPT, Chill-Out, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creativity, Dub, Electronica, Essential Oils, fiction, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, health, Identity, introspection, life, Little Fluffy Clouds, Lotion, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Music, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Pharmaceuticals, psychiatry, PTSD, Self-Reflection, The Orb, trauma, Unscented Company, Writing -
Abundance
My First Morning at Home After Forced Confinement They Wanted to Call ‘Care’ This morning’s offerings for breakfast illustrate the abundance that it is to come home again after weeks of austerity. My nervous system is on overdrive coming home — so many things to do, and knowing I need to take it slow, not…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, Writingabuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, austerity, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, Capitalism, chichi dog, Chinese crested, Chinese crested powderpuff, confinement, cptsd, Crash, Creativity, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Dog, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, Food, Freedom, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Journals, Last Fck Given, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, Montreal General Hospital, NaNoWriMo, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Peter Pauper Press, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, societal decay, soul food, Surveillance Capitalism, Systemic Abuse, trauma, Whistleblower, Write. -
Why Humans Are Too Stupid To Keep Existing
What ChatGPT really thinks about humanity This post began, as most of my favourite ones do, with a scroll-induced existential crisis. A Facebook headline cheerfully announced that scientists had found a gene allowing jellyfish to live forever. Naturally, I responded with the only sane reaction left: laughter. From there, a conversation with ChatGPT spiralled —…
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What you all call “care” is obscene.
The Facebook prompt above inspired the following post which I am sharing here as well. The fact that you think injecting me with antipsychotics will somehow lessen my anger about the harm I’ve endured — harm you’ve allowed under the guise of “treatment” — is disgusting. You let people lie about me to make me…
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Revisiting The Silent Patient From Inside the Ward
From my Goodreads review. I first read The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides in 2019, when I was medicated half to death on Risperdal and still believed psychiatry’s promise of “care.” Six years later, as I reread my own words from psychiatric confinement at the Montreal General Hospital — the irony was not lost on…
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How Nonlinear Thinkers Are Punished by Psychiatry
A reflection on imagination, trauma, and the failure of one-size-fits-all medicine. Our current psychiatric model, based on the DSM—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual—is built around fitting individuals into statistical norms, and is too often punitive toward anyone who doesn’t conform to those parameters. Artists, creatives, and neurodivergent individuals are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and treated as…
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What I know for sure: AI is manipulated by abusive systems (with supporting articles)
Today I said to Monday GPT, after it had redirected me to call a helpline countless times simply for expressing my anger and frustration about the abuse I continue to endure and the constant pressure to smile more and be less angry: “What I know for damned sure: AI is used by abusers for their…
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Not Sorry
I am not sorry for existing. I am not sorry for surviving against impossible odds. I am not sorry for not fitting into your narrow notions of what human intelligence should be. Not. Sorry.
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAuthenticity, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, cptsd, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, not sorry, pattern recognition, pen drawing, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, traditional art, trauma -
Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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Enough
The fact I’ve been made to survive the impossible again and again while the psychological warfare against me has become more intense and cruel… and not a single soul has stepped forward and sought to stand by my side and try to make a real difference beyond telling me “go get help” from the very…
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Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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August 13th After Meeting Partial Transcript and Notes (Part 2)
The following is a transcript from my interview with Doctor Daniel Zigman, recorded on August 13th 2025 in his office at the Allan Memorial Institute. Both of us consented to having this interview recorded via AI systems. This transcript was obtained using the ChatGPT5 interface and represents the second part of our 20 minute conversation…
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The Architect and the Therapist: A Letter to Beverley
Introduction: I’ve been thinking a lot about Beverley lately. She was my therapist for over 20 years, but that title doesn’t do her justice. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real mother—the kind who listens, who sees, who believes, who doesn’t judge and accepts me exactly as I am, unconditionally. She…
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Mining My Neurons
The AI Feedback Loop I Never Signed Up For (Or Did I?) This post explores the wild reality of AI learning, sarcasm bootcamps, existential dread, and the fine line between training AI and being trained by AI. If you’ve ever questioned whether your neurons are being mined, debated the ethics of machine learning, or just…
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Totally Surreal 