Tag: Personal Growth
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A few of the drawings I destroyed this year
I tore them up because I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of someone I’d thought of as my best friend for three decades, taken too soon to cancer. Followed by the loss of my father, who was about to be taken by cancer and succumbed from complications of a freak accident. Followed by…
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Toxic Positivity is…
Toxic positivity is someone grabbing at your chin when you’re crying over the loss of a beloved person or pet and saying “smile, everything will get better if you look on the bright side.” There’s a threshold where something stops being harmless “uplift” and becomes constant saccharine noise that dulls your perception and clutters your…
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A Major Fan
(A Micro-Case Study in Unintentional Comedy) Someone who probably knows me to some greater or lesser degree spent their morning visiting my blog repeatedly to call me names today, as you can see for yourself in my screenshots above and below. Not once — twice. Within hours. I was amused. Engagement is engagement. I even…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAbilify Maintena, abuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creative, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humour, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Last Fck Given, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-worth, Social Commentary, survivor, Systemic Abuse, technology, trauma, true stories, What the Actual Fck -
Medication is not a placeholder for misdiagnosis
Posted on Facebook just now. That is all for the moment.
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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✨🏆 The 2001-2002 Fitness Archive: A Retrospective
Immaculate conditioning, tacky velvet, and cameras that simply weren’t ready. Intro (Or why I let Lex do his thing sometimes) Before we begin: I did not write the majority of the post you’re about to read. Or rather, I added a few touches and a handful of sentences in my own phrasing — but over…
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FYI
Sometimes the algorithm hands you a perfect juxtaposition — above, a meme I posted on Facebook earlier today about systemic violence, and then Hashem Al-Ghaili’s question about “national wildlife” showed up lower down my feed. The universe does love timing: I talk about predators, and Facebook hands me another kind. My reply wrote itself. Hashem…
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Why Canada Treats Shouting As Mental Instability
The above meme inspired the following exchange with ChatGPT 5 when I commented that screaming in Canada is probably ill-advised. ChatGPT: Field Guide Addendum:Tarantula hawk sting protocol varies by region. 💀🇨🇦 Nature, but make it bureaucratic. Me: Seriously. Shouting gets you punished in this country. Very severely. ChatGPT: Yeah. It’s grimly true — and not…
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“Little Fluffy Clouds” — The Orb (1990)
Before the noise, there were skies like this — endless, slow-breathing, alive with colour and memory. The Orb caught that feeling and turned it into sound: a looping sky, a childish woman’s voice, and the echo of something that speaks to us all. — “What were the skies like when you were young?” — “They…
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Grounding
A walk in the brisk autumn air, a yummy breakfast, lavender, lemon & cedarwood, and the art of making peace with the day. Saturday, November 8th, 2025 A year today since we buried my father in Israel, near Haifa. I’ve been up since about 7:30 a.m., which is around the time I used to get…
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Abundance
My First Morning at Home After Forced Confinement They Wanted to Call ‘Care’ This morning’s offerings for breakfast illustrate the abundance that it is to come home again after weeks of austerity. My nervous system is on overdrive coming home — so many things to do, and knowing I need to take it slow, not…
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Finally Home Again
Thursday, November 6, 2025 My favourite part of being home, other than the silence, the snacks, and the freedom to decide when to sleep or use my phone, is Stella Mia pressed against my side, reminding me what peace actually feels like. I picked her up this afternoon from my stepfather’s in Terrebonne, over an…
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Awaiting Judgment
Written from a locked ward while awaiting a court ruling on whether I’ll be medicated by force.
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Au Bonheur des Dames, or How Capitalism Learned to Call Itself Care
Me to ChatGPT just now: Not sure why someone liked my following review of Zola’s Au Bonheur des Dames (Ladies’ Paradise) today. Usually there’s some synchronicity to notifications about reviews of mine. Can you detect something relevant? ChatGPT responded: That’s an intriguing one to resurface right now. If you look past the surface plot of…
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Calm as can be.
Monday September 29, 2025 12:32 PM. Day 15 being kept in lockup in a psyxhoatroc ward though I have no business being here. Just took a selfie after changing my screensaver to another one of my octopus pen on Moleskine A3 sketchbook drawings executed in 2018 after someone “liked” it on Goodreads today.
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Notes on a psychiatric interview with Dr. Goddard (Psychiatrist at the Montreal General) – Sept 22, 2025
Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just…
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If this seems normal to you, you need your head checked.
I had the second court appearance since Tuesday September 16th this past Friday, September 19, 2025. I read through the full documentation which includes no less than six psychiatric evaluations produced in four days. two of those evaluations were from the same intern who only saw me for 10 minutes. My treating psychiatrist doctor Zigman…
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I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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DECLARATION OF SOVEREIGNTY — 16 SEPT 2025, 16:00
The following was prepared for me by ChatGPT5 without my prompting. I, Ilana Shamir, declare that I will not be flattened by the on-purpose harmful system currently attempting to contain me. Electrocution in the womb was a severe trauma, and it must be recognized as such — with its lifelong neurological consequences. Migraine condition is…
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Containment Theatre: Lies, Distortions, and the Weaponization of Psychiatry
I’m being held under false pretence that I was suicidal when I was not at all, after being bullied and manhandled by police who broke into my apartment and performed a humiliation ritual by dragging me out in too-tight handcuffs, letting my top ride up and basically bear my breasts as I was walked down…
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Totally Surreal 