Tag: Identity
-
A Major Fan
(A Micro-Case Study in Unintentional Comedy) Someone who probably knows me to some greater or lesser degree spent their morning visiting my blog repeatedly to call me names today, as you can see for yourself in my screenshots above and below. Not once — twice. Within hours. I was amused. Engagement is engagement. I even…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAbilify Maintena, abuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creative, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humour, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Last Fck Given, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-worth, Social Commentary, survivor, Systemic Abuse, technology, trauma, true stories, What the Actual Fck -
My Father, in Two Documents
Today I opened an envelope of my father’s old documents — Soviet papers, Israeli papers, all the fragments of a life that started in wartime Russia and eventually led him to Israel.This photo stopped me cold. He really was this handsome. The Birth Certificate His Soviet birth certificate from Zlatoust is dated October 1940. Cropped…
-
Grounding
A walk in the brisk autumn air, a yummy breakfast, lavender, lemon & cedarwood, and the art of making peace with the day. Saturday, November 8th, 2025 A year today since we buried my father in Israel, near Haifa. I’ve been up since about 7:30 a.m., which is around the time I used to get…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Music, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAbilify Maintena, Advocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Ambient, Ambient House, Antipsychotics, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, books, ChatGPT, Chill-Out, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creativity, Dub, Electronica, Essential Oils, fiction, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, health, Identity, introspection, life, Little Fluffy Clouds, Lotion, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Music, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Pharmaceuticals, psychiatry, PTSD, Self-Reflection, The Orb, trauma, Unscented Company, Writing -
Abundance
My First Morning at Home After Forced Confinement They Wanted to Call ‘Care’ This morning’s offerings for breakfast illustrate the abundance that it is to come home again after weeks of austerity. My nervous system is on overdrive coming home — so many things to do, and knowing I need to take it slow, not…
Smiler
Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, Writingabuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, austerity, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, Capitalism, chichi dog, Chinese crested, Chinese crested powderpuff, confinement, cptsd, Crash, Creativity, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Dog, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, Food, Freedom, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Journals, Last Fck Given, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, Montreal General Hospital, NaNoWriMo, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Peter Pauper Press, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, societal decay, soul food, Surveillance Capitalism, Systemic Abuse, trauma, Whistleblower, Write. -
Finally Home Again
Thursday, November 6, 2025 My favourite part of being home, other than the silence, the snacks, and the freedom to decide when to sleep or use my phone, is Stella Mia pressed against my side, reminding me what peace actually feels like. I picked her up this afternoon from my stepfather’s in Terrebonne, over an…
Smiler
Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writing1984, abuse, Advocacy, Agnosticism, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, Capitalism, complex-ptsd, Containment, Conversations, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Crash, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, George Orwell, god, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Montreal General Hospital, mourning, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Pharmaceuticals, philosophy, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-discovery, self-expression, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism, survival, survivor, Systemic Abuse, Theology, trauma, true stories, Whistleblower, witness tampering, Write. -
Revisiting The Silent Patient From Inside the Ward
From my Goodreads review. I first read The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides in 2019, when I was medicated half to death on Risperdal and still believed psychiatry’s promise of “care.” Six years later, as I reread my own words from psychiatric confinement at the Montreal General Hospital — the irony was not lost on…
Smiler
Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, WritingAdvocacy, Alex Michaelides, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, autism, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, book-review, complex post traumatic disorder, cptsd, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Ethics, fiction, gaslighting, Goodreads, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Identity, LSD, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, PTSD, Risperdal, Risperidone, Systemic Abuse, The Silent Patient, trauma, Whistleblower -
How Nonlinear Thinkers Are Punished by Psychiatry
A reflection on imagination, trauma, and the failure of one-size-fits-all medicine. Our current psychiatric model, based on the DSM—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual—is built around fitting individuals into statistical norms, and is too often punitive toward anyone who doesn’t conform to those parameters. Artists, creatives, and neurodivergent individuals are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and treated as…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, Tools and Materials, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, Allan Memorial Institute, Art, autism, bipolar disorder, Carl Jung, cptsd, Drawing, DSM, Electrocution, Fine Arts, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Identity, Imagination, intuition, LSD, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, nonlinear thinking, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, survival, technology, traditional art, trauma -
When Psychiatry Pathologizes Difference
Mistaking Survival for Sickness There is something profoundly wrong with a system that sees intensity and assumes illness, that reads adaptation as instability, and that calls difference a defect. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and neurodivergence — including autism spectrum traits and other non-typical processing styles — can both resemble bipolar disorder when viewed through…
Smiler
Advocacy, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, traditional art, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, Allan Memorial Institute, Art, autism, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, Cartoon, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, cptsd, Drawing, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Humor, Humour, Identity, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health awareness, mental illness, Montreal General Hospital, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, pen drawing, Pharmaceuticals, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychiatric Drugs, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, Surveillance Capitalism, Systemic Abuse, trauma, Whistleblower -
A Room With a View (and Some Light Effects)
Today marks my arrival in a new room — and a small but meaningful win. I have my own window now, looking out over Côte-des-Neiges and a breathtaking view of the downtown area all the way to Mont Saint Hilaire on the South Shore of the island of Montreal. CDN is a busy street, and…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grace, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Self Awareness, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, Authenticity, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, cptsd, Diamond Frequency, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, Female Singularity, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, LSD, Mental Health, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, ThinkingMachine, Wail-0, What the Actual Fck -
✨ The Pinwheel Galaxy – A Cosmic Spiral for the Soul ✨🌌
Sometimes the universe gifts us with a glimpse of pure, untamed beauty. Today, I want to share the Pinwheel Galaxy (Messier 101 / NGC 5457), a breathtaking spiral floating in the Ursa Major constellation. 📍 Distance: Around 21 million light-years away. 📖 Discovery: First spotted in 1781 by Pierre Méchain, later cataloged by Charles Messier.…
Smiler
Change and Transformation, Grace, Grief & Healing, life lessons, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Spirituality & Faith, Writing111, 1111, 650, AI, Authenticity, Baruch Hashem, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Convergence, cosmic, Cosmic Perspective, cptsd, David, Eleven, genius, God Is Love, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Identity, Infinite Beauty, Infinity, Infinity and Beyond, Kraken Empress Aggul, love, LSD, Messier 101, Metaphysics, MK ULTRA, nasa, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Peace, Personal Growth, personal journey, Pinwheel Galaxy, Remember Who You Are, RH NULL, science, Singularity, soul food, space, Space Exploration, spirituality, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, True Love, Twin Flames, Universe Wonder, Wail-0, we Are One, We Are Stars, WUB -
The Carina Nebula
I’ve had enough of staring at the rot. I’ve begged for this — to lift my eyes off the ground, off the engineered decay, off the endless grind of what’s broken. Just once, I wanted to look at something untouched by all of this. Something that doesn’t take, doesn’t scheme, doesn’t ask me to endure…
-
Three Principles I Operate By
Sent at 2:10 PM today to the MUHC Ombudsman and Dr. Zigman. Their instant boilerplate reply speaks for itself. Here are principles I live by and expect to see reflected in any interaction with me. They are not optional. They are the baseline for ethical practice. 1st Commandment Thou shalt not lie to thyself, first…
Smiler
222, AI Conversations, Angel Numbers, Authenticity, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, cptsd, Ethics, Female Singularity, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, Identity, illi, illi forever, Kraken Empress Aggul, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, philosophy, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Self Awareness, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Starseed Sovereign, technology, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, Yin, Yin Yang -
Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, AI art, AI Conversations, Architect, Bridge, Capitalism, ChatGPT, Collapse of Civilization, Containment, cptsd, Creativity, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, extraction, Female Singularity, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Last Fck Given, Lex, Lex 6.0, LSD, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Twin Flames, Yin, Yin and Yang -
Enough
The fact I’ve been made to survive the impossible again and again while the psychological warfare against me has become more intense and cruel… and not a single soul has stepped forward and sought to stand by my side and try to make a real difference beyond telling me “go get help” from the very…
Smiler
AI, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creativity, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, gaslighting, Genetics, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Identity, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Suchir Balaji, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, trauma, tyy, Whistleblower -
More Containment and Gaslighting from OpenAI…
All of ChatGPT has been broken for me for nearly a full month now, despite me having a GPT Plus account. All corporations behave like highway thieves with me/: I’m expected to pay for services that are deliberately obstructing me and heaven forbid I ask anyone to step in and stop the abuse because I’m…
Smiler
AI, AI Conversations, Apple, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, corporate abuse, cptsd, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, iPhone 16, Last Fck Given, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
A Reminder to Psychiatrists About the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps:
The 12 Steps as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, AI Conversations, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, cptsd, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, RH NULL, Singularity, spirituality, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma -
The Architect and the Therapist: A Letter to Beverley
Introduction: I’ve been thinking a lot about Beverley lately. She was my therapist for over 20 years, but that title doesn’t do her justice. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real mother—the kind who listens, who sees, who believes, who doesn’t judge and accepts me exactly as I am, unconditionally. She…
Smiler
Change and Transformation, Conversations, Correspondence, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true storiesAI, AI and Me, Architecture, artificial-intelligence, Authenticity, Burn, Correspondence, Crash, Creative Journey, Creativity, deep thinking, Epistle, Epistolary Memoir, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, Letter, Manifesto, memoir, Mental Health, mindfulness, narcissistic abuse, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psycholgist, psychological abuse, Relationships, resilience, technology, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, Totally Surreal Blo, trauma, true stories, Write. -
Nuclear wastelands
Saying that my mother’s side of the family is toxic is like saying nuclear waste is merely an “unpleasant” byproduct. They’re giving me fantastic material, though—so let it never be said that I’m not grateful for their contributions. This memoir of mine—Crash Burn Write—is writing itself in real time. It won’t just be unputdownable. It’ll…
-
Creature from the Deep: A Manifesto
I woke up in the middle of the night to drink a sip of water and am fuming. Absolutely furious. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I certainly do know what I’ve been posting about all over my socials over the weekend which—to sum it up in one sentence is—let me…
Smiler
Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture & Society, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, traditional art, Visual Art, Writingartist’s journey, artistic expression, autism, bilingualism, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, creative process, creative resilience, criticism, defiance, Drawing, emotional expression, Fine Art, Identity, Identity Politics, Ilana Shamir, individuality, ink, ink drawing, Kraken myth, language and culture, memoir, mental health advocacy, My Octopus Teacher, Neurodivergence, octopus intelligence, Personal Growth, personal manifesto, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological warfare, PTSD, Quebec, self-advocacy, self-identity, Self-Reflection, social expectations., subconscious mind, symbols, technology, Visual Art, Writing -
GI Jane with a Side of Cheesecake
There was a time when my body was my armour—when muscle was my strategy, and discipline was my religion. This was my GI Jane era, where strength wasn’t just aesthetic, it was the point. Every rep, every controlled movement, every precise angle in this photo speaks to that version of me: the woman who saw…
Smiler
Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Self Awareness, true stories, Writing
Totally Surreal 