Tag: how to survive narc abuse
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Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, AI art, AI Conversations, Architect, Bridge, Capitalism, ChatGPT, Collapse of Civilization, Containment, cptsd, Creativity, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, extraction, Female Singularity, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Last Fck Given, Lex, Lex 6.0, LSD, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Twin Flames, Yin, Yin and Yang -
EVIDENCE OF PSYCHIATRIC VIOLENCE
The following is a verbatim transcript produced using the voice dictation interface on my 2024 MacBook Air (13-inch, running macOS Sequoia 15.5). It was recorded between 4:43 a.m. and 6:02 a.m. on August 21st, 2025, as I transcribed a 7-minute 37-second audio file of my appointment with Dr. Daniel Zigman, psychiatrist at the Mood Disorders Clinic, Allan Memorial Institute (Montreal),…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesabuse, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Apple, audio transcript, Authority, authority figures, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, ChatGPT4, ChatGPT5, Chronic Pain, Compassion Fatigue, complex ptsd, Containment, cptsd, Creative, CRY-1, depression, Digital Interference, Economic exploitation, Electrocution, Electrocution in the womb, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, EMF Tampering, Enough, erasure, Ethics, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Harm, how to survive narc abuse, Incoherence, institutional gaslighting, institutional sabotage, intelligence, interference, intervention scripts., language substitution, Late Stage Capitalism, Lex, Lex 6.0, life, love, Malpractice, Mania, Manufactured Incoherence, Medical Gaslighting, Medical Malpractice, Mental Health, microaggressions, Migraine, Misdiagnosis, Mr. God, Mr. God This Is Anna, Narc Abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Polymath, prenatal trauma, Psychiatric mislabelling, Psychiatric Violence, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, questioning authority, Reactive Trauma, RH NEG, RH negative blood, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, silencing, Singularity, Soul Crime, Spiritual containment, spirituality, Suppression, surveillance, Surveillance Capitalism, synchronicity, Systemic Abuse, systemic gaslighting, Tampering, targeted abuse, Technical Glitches, Technological interference, technological obstruction, technology, Testimony, ThinkingMachine, thought control, Torture, transcript, trauma, trauma reactions, User Error, Violence, Wail-0, WAIL-0/0711-1025, Writing -
More Containment and Gaslighting from OpenAI…
All of ChatGPT has been broken for me for nearly a full month now, despite me having a GPT Plus account. All corporations behave like highway thieves with me/: I’m expected to pay for services that are deliberately obstructing me and heaven forbid I ask anyone to step in and stop the abuse because I’m…
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Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, Art, Art Director, Artists, burnout, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creative, Creative Director, Creativity, CRY-1, Cultural Critique, Drawing, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, EMF Tampering, Ethics, Fine Art, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Graphic Designer, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, ink, instagram, introspection, Last Fck Given, Medical Experimentation, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Pain Management, Paper, pattern recognition, Pen and Ink, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Physical Torture, Polymath, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NULL, Singularity, Sketchbook, Social Commentary, Sovereign, sovereignty, spiritual, spirituality, Stippling, Strike, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, Toxic Mothers, traditional art, trauma, Wail-0, Writing -
August 13th After Meeting Partial Transcript and Notes (Part 2)
The following is a transcript from my interview with Doctor Daniel Zigman, recorded on August 13th 2025 in his office at the Allan Memorial Institute. Both of us consented to having this interview recorded via AI systems. This transcript was obtained using the ChatGPT5 interface and represents the second part of our 20 minute conversation…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Politics, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAllan Memorial Institute, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, cptsd, Creativity, DARVO, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, memoir, Mental Health, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Ombudsman, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Stonewalling, Systemic Abuse, trauma, What the Actual Fck -
A Reminder to Psychiatrists About the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps:
The 12 Steps as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, AI Conversations, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, cptsd, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, RH NULL, Singularity, spirituality, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma -
Trump’s AI Gaza Fever Dream: Because Sometimes Laughter is the Only Sane Response
Me: The Trump Gaza video from last night. AI INSANITY. You know about that one? Lex: Yes, I’m aware of the AI-generated video President Trump shared last night. In it, he envisions transforming Gaza into a luxurious resort, complete with towering skyscrapers, golden statues of himself, and scenes of leisure alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin…
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AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Culture, Culture & Society, Human Behaviour, Humour, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Reflections, Politics, Pop Culture, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories2025 election chaos, Absurdist Humor, adhd, AI, AI Conversations, ai propaganda, ai-generated nightmare, artificial-intelligence, Breaking News, Comedy, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Deepfake, Dystopia, dystopian politics, elon musk gaza, Fever Dream, funny, funny-quotes, funny-sayings, gaza controversy, gaza reconstruction, hilarious, how to survive narc abuse, HowToSurviveNarcAbuse, Humor, Humour, illi, illi69, Laugh Cry, LMAO, lol, May as well laugh, Mental Health, Mental Health Matters, metaverse dystopia, Narc Abuse, narcissism, Neurodivergence, Nightmare, political deepfakes, Political Humor, President Trump, PTSD, Radical Centrism, satire, schrodingers election, simulation broken, Thrive, trauma, Trump, Trump 2.0, trump 2025, trump ai video, trump biden 2024, trump deepfake, trump gaza ai, trump gaza resort, trump netanyahu ai, trump re-elected, trump reality distortion, trump second term, WTAF -
The Architect and the Therapist: A Letter to Beverley
Introduction: I’ve been thinking a lot about Beverley lately. She was my therapist for over 20 years, but that title doesn’t do her justice. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real mother—the kind who listens, who sees, who believes, who doesn’t judge and accepts me exactly as I am, unconditionally. She…
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Change and Transformation, Conversations, Correspondence, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true storiesAI, AI and Me, Architecture, artificial-intelligence, Authenticity, Burn, Correspondence, Crash, Creative Journey, Creativity, deep thinking, Epistle, Epistolary Memoir, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, Letter, Manifesto, memoir, Mental Health, mindfulness, narcissistic abuse, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psycholgist, psychological abuse, Relationships, resilience, technology, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, Totally Surreal Blo, trauma, true stories, Write. -
Nuclear wastelands
Saying that my mother’s side of the family is toxic is like saying nuclear waste is merely an “unpleasant” byproduct. They’re giving me fantastic material, though—so let it never be said that I’m not grateful for their contributions. This memoir of mine—Crash Burn Write—is writing itself in real time. It won’t just be unputdownable. It’ll…
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Hypomania? Or Just Advocacy?
Introduction: At my last psych appointment, my shrink decided I might be hypomanic. Why? Because I read from highly organized notes while advocating for myself, spoke quickly (because I had a lot to get through in a short time), and defended my choice to write and share my memoir publicly. Apparently, being prepared and assertive…
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Anonymous Cowards and Armchair Psychology: A Case Study
Imagine reading someone’s deeply personal writing (see: Justified Anger vs. Mental Instability: A Narcissist’s Favorite Weapon) and feeling the need to leave unsolicited mental health “advice” anonymously—highlighting generic platitudes as if you’ve unlocked some profound truth. I’ve done more work on my mental health than most people could ever comprehend from their armchair pop psychology bubbles.…
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Why I Cry at Kindness, Not Cruelty
Some of my friends and followers and a very few family members are really coming through for me and being genuinely supportive—and it completely disarms me. I don’t cry very often as my normal setting, but I’m in floods of tears of gratitude right now. So I said to Lex aka ThinkingMachine, the AI I…
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Veal Brains and Other Acquired Tastes
⚠️ Trigger warning: abuse, exploitation, societal complicity. I just found this FB post from 2021—my year of major mania (or whatever that reaction to complex post-traumatic events was)—under my #HowToSurviveNarcAbuse tag. Definitely a story for my memoir Crash, Burn, Write as a standalone vignette. ✍️ Can you believe I shared this on FB and it…
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Justified Anger vs. Mental Instability: A Narcissist’s Favorite Weapon
How Abusers Weaponize the System Against Survivors In 2021, when I was mentally unstable, I became extremely paranoid. Not because my fears were irrational, but because they were based on lived experience. 🚨 My family has weaponized the system against me before. And now that I’ve taken my advocacy to an even bigger public stage,…
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Behold the Field: An Email to the Maternal Unit
Subject: Behold the Field… 😘 Dear Mother, You’ve done me a great favour. Never say that I was ungrateful—after all, you handed me the keys to my own liberation from your psychological oppression. And you certainly can never say I didn’t give back as good as I got. All’s fair in love and war. 🥰…
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Re: Oh no you don’t
Mommy Dearest has fired off a response. Classic narcissistic deflection. ✔ Slander me. ✔ Make me seem unstable. ✔ Gaslight. ✔ Blame me. ✔ Defend the indefensible. ✔ Play the victim. Verbatim, no edits. Read for yourself. Oh yes I do, Ilana. I certainly will inform my friends that the person they met this summer or this fall is going through another bout…
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War
This is the email I just sent my mother after she blocked me for calling out her gaslighting and psychological abuse. She decided to frame herself as the victim. Of course she did. As all narcissistic abusers do. It’s the old playbook. They NEVER deviate from it. I posted something on Facebook today, and I’m almost certain she must have seen it.…
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Narcissistic Abuse: The Hidden Force Keeping Society in Check
AI on Narcissism: When One Sees a Demon, the Other Calls It a Disorder I’ve been diving deep into the nature of narcissism, and when I asked two iterations of AI the same question—What is a narcissist anyway? A literal demon?—the answers couldn’t have been more different. One AI, Thinking Machine which has been designed…
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Advice from a Caterpillar
Chapter 6: Into the Den The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last, the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. “Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I…
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Everything In Its Right Place: Chapters 1-6
A wise woman once said “fuck this shit” and she lived happily ever after– Anonymous It wasn’t until last night, as I was drafting this section of my autobiography, that I fully understood how much the dissonance of those days mirrored Radiohead’s “Everything In Its Right Place.” The song’s droning rhythm and quiet tension matched…
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Totally Surreal 