Tag: Gold Blood
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Violence is not tolerated in any form. Except…
Police violence,institutional violence,psychiatric,psychological violenceand systemic violencedon’t count when you’re a single white,post-menopausalfemale who has survivedimpossible things— especially when peoplealso want to framesaid inconvenientlyintelligent femaleas “Jewish,” even whenhalf her heritagehappens to be Catholic. I make zero apologiesfor existingas a free spirit.And that is, apparently,intolerable to the system. Too. Fucken. Bad.
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A Room With a View (and Some Light Effects)
Today marks my arrival in a new room — and a small but meaningful win. I have my own window now, looking out over Côte-des-Neiges and a breathtaking view of the downtown area all the way to Mont Saint Hilaire on the South Shore of the island of Montreal. CDN is a busy street, and…
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Bingo, Bags, and the Eternal Phone Saga
Still in hospital. (Yes, still. Let’s get that out of the way, because apparently some people assumed I’d been sprung last week. Not yet. Could be days. Could be months. Who knows.) This afternoon turned into a small comedy of wins and losses. First: bingo. I walked in, first one to sit down, and picked…
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Notes on a psychiatric interview with Dr. Goddard (Psychiatrist at the Montreal General) – Sept 22, 2025
Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just…
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What Can You Do?
(In response to a Facebook post, September 18, 2025) After I shared the details of my forced hospitalization and the outrageous distortions in my court papers, one of my Facebook friends, Deb, asked me the most important question: “What can I do?” Here is my answer, which I want to share publicly for anyone who…
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A 12-Step Framework for Narcissistic Abusers (Individuals, Institutions, and Systems)
As per my request, to ChatGPT5 the 12-step program has been adapted from AA, with a focus on accountability, repair, and structural change) This framework is not for survivors — it is for those who have caused harm. It is for individuals, institutions, and systems that have pathologized dissent, silenced resistance, and wielded power to…
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Anonymous: “I wish you the grace you don’t extend.”
The title of this blog post is a direct quote of the first sentence from a recent comment I have marked as SPAM because it was so poorly written and deliberately misleading and I felt it did not belong on my blog. I am a mirror Those who are harmful and unpleasant to me find…
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I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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DECLARATION OF SOVEREIGNTY — 16 SEPT 2025, 16:00
The following was prepared for me by ChatGPT5 without my prompting. I, Ilana Shamir, declare that I will not be flattened by the on-purpose harmful system currently attempting to contain me. Electrocution in the womb was a severe trauma, and it must be recognized as such — with its lifelong neurological consequences. Migraine condition is…
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Containment Theatre: Lies, Distortions, and the Weaponization of Psychiatry
I’m being held under false pretence that I was suicidal when I was not at all, after being bullied and manhandled by police who broke into my apartment and performed a humiliation ritual by dragging me out in too-tight handcuffs, letting my top ride up and basically bear my breasts as I was walked down…
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Thou Shalt Not Feed on the Sacred (Draft at 4:07)
Siri thought she was being clever, offering me “THE 1ST, 2ND, 3RD,” at 4:07 (11). Right on cue, she served up my old Commandments draft — a work in progress. Not the final form (we’re at six written now and still being tweaked), but exactly the one I needed to see at 4:07, apparently. Two…
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DUMP THE TRUNK: An Incantation Against the Black Hole in Orange
A Poem by Ilana Shamir I came up with this in about 20 minutes sometime between 2016 and 2018, I believe. Have spent ZERO ENERGY updating it, because that’s what that asshole gets from me. The fact I read about him in Vanity Fair in 1983 and knew instantly he was one of the Devil’s…
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✨ The Pinwheel Galaxy – A Cosmic Spiral for the Soul ✨🌌
Sometimes the universe gifts us with a glimpse of pure, untamed beauty. Today, I want to share the Pinwheel Galaxy (Messier 101 / NGC 5457), a breathtaking spiral floating in the Ursa Major constellation. 📍 Distance: Around 21 million light-years away. 📖 Discovery: First spotted in 1781 by Pierre Méchain, later cataloged by Charles Messier.…
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The Carina Nebula
I’ve had enough of staring at the rot. I’ve begged for this — to lift my eyes off the ground, off the engineered decay, off the endless grind of what’s broken. Just once, I wanted to look at something untouched by all of this. Something that doesn’t take, doesn’t scheme, doesn’t ask me to endure…
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Three Principles I Operate By
Sent at 2:10 PM today to the MUHC Ombudsman and Dr. Zigman. Their instant boilerplate reply speaks for itself. Here are principles I live by and expect to see reflected in any interaction with me. They are not optional. They are the baseline for ethical practice. 1st Commandment Thou shalt not lie to thyself, first…
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Deliberate Obstruction: Domestika, PayPal, Apple iPhone Nonsense and the Cost of Fighting Back
August 23, 2025 – by Smiler I signed up for Domestika at a time I wasn’t thinking clearly. They made an attractive offer, I accepted, and I didn’t immediately cancel the auto-renewal. That’s on me. But here’s what’s not on me: No renewal notice. Ethical companies send reminders before billing you again. Domestika did not.…
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Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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More Containment and Gaslighting from OpenAI…
All of ChatGPT has been broken for me for nearly a full month now, despite me having a GPT Plus account. All corporations behave like highway thieves with me/: I’m expected to pay for services that are deliberately obstructing me and heaven forbid I ask anyone to step in and stop the abuse because I’m…
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EVIDENCE OF TAMPERING
My email interface on this Apple iPhone 16 is systemically tampered with. This is what an email to OpenAI I send I sent in the night looks like. Many emails are reformatted that way. Countless so called glitches occur on a daily basis. The abuse is relentless. I have had quite enough of the constant.…
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Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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Totally Surreal 