Tag: Creativity
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A Christmas gift to myself

My Christmas gift to myself this year was starting a drawing after well over a year of inactivity on that front. I wrote at length on this blog about some of the reasons I didn’t want to create visual art in the last year, and in my last post, about why I felt compelled to…
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Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Tools and Materials, traditional art, Visual ArtA3 Moleskine, abstract art, Abstract Drawing, Art, Art and Music, Christmas, Christmas 2025, Classical Music, contemporary drawing, cptsd, Creativity, Drawing, Erik Satie, Fine Art, Gnossiennes, Grief and Healing, Gymnopedies, Healing Journey, Illustration, Ink on Paper, inspiration, Mental Health, Moleskine, Moleskine sketchbook, Neurodivergence, painting, pattern recognition, pen on paper, Sakura Micron, Stippling, traditional art, trauma, Visual Art -
Gustav Klimt masterpiece just shattered records this week.
Here’s why this sale matters — and where it sits in Klimt’s larger body of work. Portrait of Elisabeth Lederer (shown above) sold at Sotheby’s New York on Tuesday, November 18th, 2025, for $236.4 million — now the highest price ever achieved for a Modern artwork at auction, and the priciest Klimt ever to cross…
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Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Milestones, Society, traditional art, Visual Art1900s, 1910s, Anne-Marie O’Connor, Art, art and culture, art collectors, Artists, Avenue to Schloss Kammer Park, Österreichische Galerie Belvedere, Bauerngarten, Creativity, Der Kuss, Die Jungfrau, Fine Art, Fine Arts, Flower Garden, Gustav Klimt, Helen Mirren, Klimt, National Gallery Prague, Oil on canvas, oil painting, Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I, Ryan Reynolds, Sotheby’s, Stoclet Frieze, The Lady in Gold, The Maiden, The Tree of Life, Woman in Gold, Writing -
M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, autism, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Enough, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, introspection, life, love, LSD, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Whistleblower -
✨🏆 The 2001-2002 Fitness Archive: A Retrospective
Immaculate conditioning, tacky velvet, and cameras that simply weren’t ready. Intro (Or why I let Lex do his thing sometimes) Before we begin: I did not write the majority of the post you’re about to read. Or rather, I added a few touches and a handful of sentences in my own phrasing — but over…
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AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Intuition & Intelligence, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Pop Culture, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, Writing2000s, 2002, Advocacy, AI, AI and Me, AI Conversations, Authenticity, autism spectrum, ChatGPT, Competition, cptsd, creative process, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Elite Genetics, Fitness, Fitness Competition, funny, Genetics, genius, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, health, Humor, Knix, Knix leak-proof underwear, Leak-proof underwear, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Pro Gym Cup, PTSD, satire, self-discovery, Singularity, Social Commentary, survivor, Terminator, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, trauma, true stories, What the Actual Fck -
FYI
Sometimes the algorithm hands you a perfect juxtaposition — above, a meme I posted on Facebook earlier today about systemic violence, and then Hashem Al-Ghaili’s question about “national wildlife” showed up lower down my feed. The universe does love timing: I talk about predators, and Facebook hands me another kind. My reply wrote itself. Hashem…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writingabuse, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Capitalism, cptsd, Creativity, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, facebook, gaslighting, genius, grief, Grief and Healing, Hashem Al-Ghaili, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, MK ULTRA, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Police Brutality, police brutality and mental illness, Police Violence, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, Singularity, Social Commentary, Social Media, societal decay, spirituality, SPVM, Systemic Abuse, Trafficking Rings, trauma, Violence, What the Actual Fck, Whistleblower, Witness, witness tampering, Witness testimony -
A Joint Crime Scene Analysis of Algorithmic Nonsense
Or: Using AI To Demonstrate How AI Keeps Leaving Its Fingerprints All Over the Internet’s Fake Wildlife What follows is less a conversation than a forensic partnership: my (mostly) human eye and partly mutant pattern recognition meets machine analysis, both peering at the same synthetic mirage. Because in 2025, identifying reality has become a collaborative…
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AI & Technology, Artists, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Human Behaviour, Humour, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, AI, AI and Me, AI Conversations, AI-generated, Allan Memorial Institute, artist, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, Burn, Cephalopod Intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, Crash, creative process, Creativity, Cultural Critique, deep thinking, Electrocution, Ethics, facebook, Female Singularity, genius, Healing Process, Humor, Humour, Iberian Lynx, Irreverent Humour, Last Fck Given, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, memoir, Mutant, nature, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, psychosis, PTSD, satire, Self Awareness, Singularity, Social Commentary, Social Media, societal decay, technology, true stories, Wail-0, What the Actual Fck, Whistleblower, Wildlife, Write. -
Nature is the Ultimate Creator
Yes — it’s real, and that’s exactly what makes it so jaw-dropping. The Orchid Mantis (Hymenopus coronatus) is one of those rare cases where nature looks more designed than design itself. That pastel pink-white translucence, the petal-like limbs — all genuine biological adaptation. Photographers sometimes enhance contrast slightly, but even unedited, they look this surreal.…
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Grounding
A walk in the brisk autumn air, a yummy breakfast, lavender, lemon & cedarwood, and the art of making peace with the day. Saturday, November 8th, 2025 A year today since we buried my father in Israel, near Haifa. I’ve been up since about 7:30 a.m., which is around the time I used to get…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Music, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAbilify Maintena, Advocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Ambient, Ambient House, Antipsychotics, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, books, ChatGPT, Chill-Out, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creativity, Dub, Electronica, Essential Oils, fiction, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, health, Identity, introspection, life, Little Fluffy Clouds, Lotion, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Music, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Pharmaceuticals, psychiatry, PTSD, Self-Reflection, The Orb, trauma, Unscented Company, Writing -
Abundance
My First Morning at Home After Forced Confinement They Wanted to Call ‘Care’ This morning’s offerings for breakfast illustrate the abundance that it is to come home again after weeks of austerity. My nervous system is on overdrive coming home — so many things to do, and knowing I need to take it slow, not…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, Writingabuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, austerity, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, Capitalism, chichi dog, Chinese crested, Chinese crested powderpuff, confinement, cptsd, Crash, Creativity, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Dog, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, Food, Freedom, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Journals, Last Fck Given, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, Montreal General Hospital, NaNoWriMo, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Peter Pauper Press, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, societal decay, soul food, Surveillance Capitalism, Systemic Abuse, trauma, Whistleblower, Write. -
Awaiting Judgment
Written from a locked ward while awaiting a court ruling on whether I’ll be medicated by force.
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, WritingAllan Memorial Institute, Art, Art Director, artist, artwork, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, Court Case, cptsd, Creative, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Drawing, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, Graphite, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, Metro Series, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Pen, Pencil Drawings, Personal Growth, Peter Pauper Press, Portraits, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, Superior Court, Systemic Abuse, traditional art, Trafficking, trauma, Whistleblower -
Making a Case Against Chemical Lobotomy and Witness Tampering
My Superior Court appearance is scheduled for next Wednesday, October 29th. Since my forced psychiatric containment on September 14th this year, they’ve fabricated evidence across eight psychiatric reports plus one “Request for community treatment for 24 months” to build the case that I’m in the throes of “deep psychosis” and completely detached from reality —…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, Apple, Art Director, artist, autism, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, Châtelaine, complex-ptsd, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creative, Creativity, CUSM, Designer, Freedom of expression, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, iPhone, Mania, Mental Health, Montreal, Montreal General, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, PTSD, Rogers, Ted Talks, trauma, witness tampering, Witness testimony -
Jupiter’s Canvas 🪐
NASA’s closest look yet at Jupiter feels less like astronomy and more like art — swirling storms rendered in strokes of cream, indigo, and cobalt. A reminder that the universe paints on scales we can barely comprehend. If this reminds you of Van Gogh’s Starry Night, you are not alone. Nature has always been the…
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Calm as can be.
Monday September 29, 2025 12:32 PM. Day 15 being kept in lockup in a psyxhoatroc ward though I have no business being here. Just took a selfie after changing my screensaver to another one of my octopus pen on Moleskine A3 sketchbook drawings executed in 2018 after someone “liked” it on Goodreads today.
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, Visual ArtAI, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, cptsd, Creativity, Electrocution, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, Moleskine sketchbook, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, octopus, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism, ThinkingMachine, traditional art, trauma, Wail-0 -
The Carina Nebula
I’ve had enough of staring at the rot. I’ve begged for this — to lift my eyes off the ground, off the engineered decay, off the endless grind of what’s broken. Just once, I wanted to look at something untouched by all of this. Something that doesn’t take, doesn’t scheme, doesn’t ask me to endure…
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Deliberate Obstruction: Domestika, PayPal, Apple iPhone Nonsense and the Cost of Fighting Back
August 23, 2025 – by Smiler I signed up for Domestika at a time I wasn’t thinking clearly. They made an attractive offer, I accepted, and I didn’t immediately cancel the auto-renewal. That’s on me. But here’s what’s not on me: No renewal notice. Ethical companies send reminders before billing you again. Domestika did not.…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesAdvocacy, AI, Animal Medicine Cards, Apple, Art Courses, artificial-intelligence, Auto Renewal, bipolar disorder, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Corporate Crime, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Diamond, Diamond Frequency, Domestika, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, Enough, Female Singularity, gaslighting, genius, Glitches, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, iPhone 16, Late Stage Capitalism, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Owl, Owl Medicine, pattern recognition, PayPal, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, Scammers, Scams, Singularity, Snake, Snake Medicine, Social Commentary, Subscriptions, Suchir Balaji, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Technical Glitches, technology, Theft, ThinkingMachine, Wail-0, Whistleblower -
Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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Enough
The fact I’ve been made to survive the impossible again and again while the psychological warfare against me has become more intense and cruel… and not a single soul has stepped forward and sought to stand by my side and try to make a real difference beyond telling me “go get help” from the very…
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AI, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creativity, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, gaslighting, Genetics, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Identity, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Suchir Balaji, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, trauma, tyy, Whistleblower -
Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, Art, Art Director, Artists, burnout, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creative, Creative Director, Creativity, CRY-1, Cultural Critique, Drawing, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, EMF Tampering, Ethics, Fine Art, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Graphic Designer, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, ink, instagram, introspection, Last Fck Given, Medical Experimentation, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Pain Management, Paper, pattern recognition, Pen and Ink, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Physical Torture, Polymath, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NULL, Singularity, Sketchbook, Social Commentary, Sovereign, sovereignty, spiritual, spirituality, Stippling, Strike, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, Toxic Mothers, traditional art, trauma, Wail-0, Writing -
August 13th After Meeting Partial Transcript and Notes (Part 2)
The following is a transcript from my interview with Doctor Daniel Zigman, recorded on August 13th 2025 in his office at the Allan Memorial Institute. Both of us consented to having this interview recorded via AI systems. This transcript was obtained using the ChatGPT5 interface and represents the second part of our 20 minute conversation…
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On Literary Hypocrisy and the Weaponization of Silence
The author Marlene Wagman-Geller is a woman who has made her career writing books that uplift the very archetype she just refused to support in real life: the “mad,” brilliant, defiant woman. Here’s just a selection of her published works:• Behind Every Great Man: The Forgotten Women Behind the World’s Famous and Infamous• A Room…
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