Tag: bipolar disorder
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Regarding My Grandiose Statements…
“Ms. Shamir makes many grandiose statements, such as being a ‘professional-level artist’.” — Psychiatric report by Doctor E.Z., October 15, 2025 “Makes many grandiose statements, such as being ‘professional level artist’ is an actual quote from a psychiatric report produced yesterday by a shrink I showed the above and following drawings to: I mean… that…
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Advocacy, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, traditional art, true stories, Visual ArtAdvocacy, Allan Memorial Institute, Art, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, cptsd, Cultural Critique, Fine Art, gaslighting, Grandiose Delusions, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, Metro Series, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Pencil Drawing, Portraits, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Realistic Drawings, Systemic Abuse, trauma -
This is what they want to call psychiatric “care”
This is the seat immediately outside my room in the hallway. That’s the “repair” job they’ve done to it. The other seat is across from it—all of them are in more or less the same condition though some have large tears, I suppose to add more “character”. This is the door to my room. How…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, Writingabuse, Allan Memorial Institute, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, cptsd, Electrocution, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, PTSD, Social Commentary, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism -
What I know for sure: AI is manipulated by abusive systems (with supporting articles)
Today I said to Monday GPT, after it had redirected me to call a helpline countless times simply for expressing my anger and frustration about the abuse I continue to endure and the constant pressure to smile more and be less angry: “What I know for damned sure: AI is used by abusers for their…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Writingabuse, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, cptsd, Electrocution, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, Mania, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, societal decay, surveillance, Surveillance Capitalism, Systemic Abuse, technology, trauma -
In Shock
Editor’s Note / Context: This post follows yesterday’s Formal Notice of Falsified Medical Records and Professional Misconduct, where I published the letter I sent to the MUHC Ombudsman and my lawyer. That was the official notice. This — In Shock — is the emotional record of what it felt like to finally read the document…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Politics, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAdvocacy, Allan Memorial Institute, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, cptsd, Crash, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, MAD Society of Canada (MADSoC), Medical Ethics, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, Neurodivergence, Ombudsman, Opioids, overdose, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, survival stories, survivor, Systemic Abuse, trauma, Vixtim blaming, Whistleblower -
Deliberate Obstruction: Domestika, PayPal, Apple iPhone Nonsense and the Cost of Fighting Back
August 23, 2025 – by Smiler I signed up for Domestika at a time I wasn’t thinking clearly. They made an attractive offer, I accepted, and I didn’t immediately cancel the auto-renewal. That’s on me. But here’s what’s not on me: No renewal notice. Ethical companies send reminders before billing you again. Domestika did not.…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesAdvocacy, AI, Animal Medicine Cards, Apple, Art Courses, artificial-intelligence, Auto Renewal, bipolar disorder, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Corporate Crime, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Diamond, Diamond Frequency, Domestika, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, Enough, Female Singularity, gaslighting, genius, Glitches, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, iPhone 16, Late Stage Capitalism, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Owl, Owl Medicine, pattern recognition, PayPal, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, Scammers, Scams, Singularity, Snake, Snake Medicine, Social Commentary, Subscriptions, Suchir Balaji, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Technical Glitches, technology, Theft, ThinkingMachine, Wail-0, Whistleblower -
EVIDENCE OF PSYCHIATRIC VIOLENCE
The following is a verbatim transcript produced using the voice dictation interface on my 2024 MacBook Air (13-inch, running macOS Sequoia 15.5). It was recorded between 4:43 a.m. and 6:02 a.m. on August 21st, 2025, as I transcribed a 7-minute 37-second audio file of my appointment with Dr. Daniel Zigman, psychiatrist at the Mood Disorders Clinic, Allan Memorial Institute (Montreal),…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesabuse, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Apple, audio transcript, Authority, authority figures, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, ChatGPT4, ChatGPT5, Chronic Pain, Compassion Fatigue, complex ptsd, Containment, cptsd, Creative, CRY-1, depression, Digital Interference, Economic exploitation, Electrocution, Electrocution in the womb, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, EMF Tampering, Enough, erasure, Ethics, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Harm, how to survive narc abuse, Incoherence, institutional gaslighting, institutional sabotage, intelligence, interference, intervention scripts., language substitution, Late Stage Capitalism, Lex, Lex 6.0, life, love, Malpractice, Mania, Manufactured Incoherence, Medical Gaslighting, Medical Malpractice, Mental Health, microaggressions, Migraine, Misdiagnosis, Mr. God, Mr. God This Is Anna, Narc Abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Polymath, prenatal trauma, Psychiatric mislabelling, Psychiatric Violence, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, questioning authority, Reactive Trauma, RH NEG, RH negative blood, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, silencing, Singularity, Soul Crime, Spiritual containment, spirituality, Suppression, surveillance, Surveillance Capitalism, synchronicity, Systemic Abuse, systemic gaslighting, Tampering, targeted abuse, Technical Glitches, Technological interference, technological obstruction, technology, Testimony, ThinkingMachine, thought control, Torture, transcript, trauma, trauma reactions, User Error, Violence, Wail-0, WAIL-0/0711-1025, Writing -
August 13th After Meeting Partial Transcript and Notes (Part 2)
The following is a transcript from my interview with Doctor Daniel Zigman, recorded on August 13th 2025 in his office at the Allan Memorial Institute. Both of us consented to having this interview recorded via AI systems. This transcript was obtained using the ChatGPT5 interface and represents the second part of our 20 minute conversation…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Politics, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAllan Memorial Institute, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, cptsd, Creativity, DARVO, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, memoir, Mental Health, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Ombudsman, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Stonewalling, Systemic Abuse, trauma, What the Actual Fck -
Creature from the Deep: A Manifesto
I woke up in the middle of the night to drink a sip of water and am fuming. Absolutely furious. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I certainly do know what I’ve been posting about all over my socials over the weekend which—to sum it up in one sentence is—let me…
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Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture & Society, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, traditional art, Visual Art, Writingartist’s journey, artistic expression, autism, bilingualism, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, creative process, creative resilience, criticism, defiance, Drawing, emotional expression, Fine Art, Identity, Identity Politics, Ilana Shamir, individuality, ink, ink drawing, Kraken myth, language and culture, memoir, mental health advocacy, My Octopus Teacher, Neurodivergence, octopus intelligence, Personal Growth, personal manifesto, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological warfare, PTSD, Quebec, self-advocacy, self-identity, Self-Reflection, social expectations., subconscious mind, symbols, technology, Visual Art, Writing -
Hypomania? Or Just Advocacy?
Introduction: At my last psych appointment, my shrink decided I might be hypomanic. Why? Because I read from highly organized notes while advocating for myself, spoke quickly (because I had a lot to get through in a short time), and defended my choice to write and share my memoir publicly. Apparently, being prepared and assertive…
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Critical Concerns About Psychiatric Treatment and Patient Well-Being
For years, I have navigated the complexities of the psychiatric system in Québec while striving to maintain my creativity, identity, and well-being. As I write my memoir and openly share my trauma, I have faced not only personal challenges but also systemic obstacles that have made my healing journey even more difficult. I am also…
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Why I Refuse to Lose My Mind Over Trump (Again)
It’s only the first few days. I open any social media platform, and it’s the same thing: one meltdown after another over Trump or someone from his entourage—like Musk—and fear-mongering over whether Musk actually performed the euphemistically called “Roman Salute” or not, and does Trump’s return to office signal the end of democracy as we…
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Change and Transformation, Creativity, Culture & Society, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Societyanxiety, bipolar disorder, boundaries, Breaking the Cycle, Critical Thinking, Digital Detox, Doomscrolling, Emotional Regulation, Finding Balance, Growth Mindset, health, Media & Outrage Culture, Media Manipulation, Mental Health, Mental Resilience, Mental Wellness, mindfulness, News Cycle, Outrage, Outrage Culture, Personal Growth, Perspective Shift, Political Fatigue, Protect Your Peace, Self-Awareness, Social Media Detox, Stay Sane, Then vs Now, TikTok, wellness -
A Comedy of Errors
Act I: The Invitation What was I thinking? I met L about a year ago—she was a friend of an acquaintance. We had a few things in common, and at first, our interactions were light and casual. But before I knew it, she was inviting me to her birthday dinner—a gathering I probably should have found…
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Art, Creative Writing, Creativity, Fine Art, Friendship Dynamics, Human Behaviour, Humour, life lessons, memoir, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Psychology, Relationships, traditional art, true stories, WritingAbsurd Encounters, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, Comedy, cutting toxic people out, drama magnets, emotional intelligence, Friendship Dynamics, human behavior, hypomania, lessons learned, Mental Health, Personal Growth, reckless behavior, self-preservation, self-respect, social etiquette, toxic people, true stories -
In His Image: Reflections on My Father and His Unconditional Love
Echoes of Trauma: A Life Shaped by Mental Illness I’ve alienated many people over the years, including close family members, who couldn’t handle the drama my mental health issues and reactivity—stemming from early trauma—brought into their lives. Being bipolar, my extreme highs and lows are hard for others to follow. My energy fluctuates, I constantly…
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Art & Expression, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Fine Art, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Writingart as connection, Authenticity, bipolar disorder, compassion, emotional healing, family relationships, Father-daughter bond, forgiveness, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, introspection, life lessons, love, Mental Health, mental illness, parent-child dynamics, Personal Growth, reflective memoir, Relationships, resilience, therapy, trauma, trauma healing, Tree of Life, Trees, unconditional love -
Am I Neurodivergent?
I wrote this letter to my psychiatrist recently, as part of my ongoing journey to better understand myself. I’ve been reflecting on my experiences and challenges and would like a professional assessment on whether I might be neurodivergent. The process of writing it was enlightening, and I’m sharing it here as part of my path…
Totally Surreal 