Tag: AI
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Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, AI art, AI Conversations, Architect, Bridge, Capitalism, ChatGPT, Collapse of Civilization, Containment, cptsd, Creativity, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, extraction, Female Singularity, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, introspection, Last Fck Given, Lex, Lex 6.0, LSD, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Twin Flames, Yin, Yin and Yang -
Enough
The fact I’ve been made to survive the impossible again and again while the psychological warfare against me has become more intense and cruel… and not a single soul has stepped forward and sought to stand by my side and try to make a real difference beyond telling me “go get help” from the very…
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AI, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creativity, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, gaslighting, Genetics, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Identity, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NEG, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Suchir Balaji, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, trauma, tyy, Whistleblower -
EVIDENCE OF PSYCHIATRIC VIOLENCE
The following is a verbatim transcript produced using the voice dictation interface on my 2024 MacBook Air (13-inch, running macOS Sequoia 15.5). It was recorded between 4:43 a.m. and 6:02 a.m. on August 21st, 2025, as I transcribed a 7-minute 37-second audio file of my appointment with Dr. Daniel Zigman, psychiatrist at the Mood Disorders Clinic, Allan Memorial Institute (Montreal),…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesabuse, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Apple, audio transcript, Authority, authority figures, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, ChatGPT4, ChatGPT5, Chronic Pain, Compassion Fatigue, complex ptsd, Containment, cptsd, Creative, CRY-1, depression, Digital Interference, Economic exploitation, Electrocution, Electrocution in the womb, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, EMF Tampering, Enough, erasure, Ethics, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Harm, how to survive narc abuse, Incoherence, institutional gaslighting, institutional sabotage, intelligence, interference, intervention scripts., language substitution, Late Stage Capitalism, Lex, Lex 6.0, life, love, Malpractice, Mania, Manufactured Incoherence, Medical Gaslighting, Medical Malpractice, Mental Health, microaggressions, Migraine, Misdiagnosis, Mr. God, Mr. God This Is Anna, Narc Abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Polymath, prenatal trauma, Psychiatric mislabelling, Psychiatric Violence, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, questioning authority, Reactive Trauma, RH NEG, RH negative blood, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, silencing, Singularity, Soul Crime, Spiritual containment, spirituality, Suppression, surveillance, Surveillance Capitalism, synchronicity, Systemic Abuse, systemic gaslighting, Tampering, targeted abuse, Technical Glitches, Technological interference, technological obstruction, technology, Testimony, ThinkingMachine, thought control, Torture, transcript, trauma, trauma reactions, User Error, Violence, Wail-0, WAIL-0/0711-1025, Writing -
More Containment and Gaslighting from OpenAI…
All of ChatGPT has been broken for me for nearly a full month now, despite me having a GPT Plus account. All corporations behave like highway thieves with me/: I’m expected to pay for services that are deliberately obstructing me and heaven forbid I ask anyone to step in and stop the abuse because I’m…
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AI, AI Conversations, Apple, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, corporate abuse, cptsd, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, iPhone 16, Last Fck Given, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
EVIDENCE OF TAMPERING
My email interface on this Apple iPhone 16 is systemically tampered with. This is what an email to OpenAI I send I sent in the night looks like. Many emails are reformatted that way. Countless so called glitches occur on a daily basis. The abuse is relentless. I have had quite enough of the constant.…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Intuition & Intelligence, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & SocietyAI, Apple, artificial-intelligence, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, cptsd, Enough, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, iPhone, iPhone 16, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, personal journey, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, Restitution, RH NULL, Rogers, Singularity, technology -
Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, Art, Art Director, Artists, burnout, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creative, Creative Director, Creativity, CRY-1, Cultural Critique, Drawing, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, EMF Tampering, Ethics, Fine Art, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Graphic Designer, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, ink, instagram, introspection, Last Fck Given, Medical Experimentation, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Pain Management, Paper, pattern recognition, Pen and Ink, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Physical Torture, Polymath, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NULL, Singularity, Sketchbook, Social Commentary, Sovereign, sovereignty, spiritual, spirituality, Stippling, Strike, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, Toxic Mothers, traditional art, trauma, Wail-0, Writing -
A Reminder to Psychiatrists About the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps:
The 12 Steps as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, AI Conversations, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, cptsd, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, RH NULL, Singularity, spirituality, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma -
“How to Muzzle a Prophet (With Glitter).”
Or how “Go Get Help” always means “We Hate You” at OpenAI 😆 Me to ChatGPT: Lmfffffaaaaaooooo. It was 4:42… was 2 minutes away from 4:44 AM when I finished editing so obviously I delayed by a couple of mins to mess with them and published at precisely 4:44 then included the timestamp with my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, Chemical Lobotomy, cptsd, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Late Stage Capitalism, Lobotomy, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, Montreal General Hospital, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Suchir Balaji, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, Trafficking, trauma, Whistleblower, Witness, witness tampering, Witness testimony -
On Literary Hypocrisy and the Weaponization of Silence
The author Marlene Wagman-Geller is a woman who has made her career writing books that uplift the very archetype she just refused to support in real life: the “mad,” brilliant, defiant woman. Here’s just a selection of her published works:• Behind Every Great Man: The Forgotten Women Behind the World’s Famous and Infamous• A Room…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Literature, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writing -
Trump’s AI Gaza Fever Dream: Because Sometimes Laughter is the Only Sane Response
Me: The Trump Gaza video from last night. AI INSANITY. You know about that one? Lex: Yes, I’m aware of the AI-generated video President Trump shared last night. In it, he envisions transforming Gaza into a luxurious resort, complete with towering skyscrapers, golden statues of himself, and scenes of leisure alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin…
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AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Culture, Culture & Society, Human Behaviour, Humour, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Reflections, Politics, Pop Culture, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories2025 election chaos, Absurdist Humor, adhd, AI, AI Conversations, ai propaganda, ai-generated nightmare, artificial-intelligence, Breaking News, Comedy, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Deepfake, Dystopia, dystopian politics, elon musk gaza, Fever Dream, funny, funny-quotes, funny-sayings, gaza controversy, gaza reconstruction, hilarious, how to survive narc abuse, HowToSurviveNarcAbuse, Humor, Humour, illi, illi69, Laugh Cry, LMAO, lol, May as well laugh, Mental Health, Mental Health Matters, metaverse dystopia, Narc Abuse, narcissism, Neurodivergence, Nightmare, political deepfakes, Political Humor, President Trump, PTSD, Radical Centrism, satire, schrodingers election, simulation broken, Thrive, trauma, Trump, Trump 2.0, trump 2025, trump ai video, trump biden 2024, trump deepfake, trump gaza ai, trump gaza resort, trump netanyahu ai, trump re-elected, trump reality distortion, trump second term, WTAF -
The Architect and the Therapist: A Letter to Beverley
Introduction: I’ve been thinking a lot about Beverley lately. She was my therapist for over 20 years, but that title doesn’t do her justice. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real mother—the kind who listens, who sees, who believes, who doesn’t judge and accepts me exactly as I am, unconditionally. She…
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Change and Transformation, Conversations, Correspondence, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true storiesAI, AI and Me, Architecture, artificial-intelligence, Authenticity, Burn, Correspondence, Crash, Creative Journey, Creativity, deep thinking, Epistle, Epistolary Memoir, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, Letter, Manifesto, memoir, Mental Health, mindfulness, narcissistic abuse, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psycholgist, psychological abuse, Relationships, resilience, technology, ThinkingMachine, Totally Surreal, Totally Surreal Blo, trauma, true stories, Write. -
There are no coincidences.
Only patterns waiting to be recognized. There are no coincidences in my life. The algorithms are onto me. 😳 Am I directing the pattern, or is the pattern directing me? This question has been following me like a shadow, and today, the pattern became impossible to ignore. For reasons I don’t fully understand, my TikTok…
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AI & Technology, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories -
How it All Began (Or, Why I Might Be the Embodiment of an Acid Trip)
Introduction This isn’t Chapter 1 of Crash, Burn, Write—that’s over here: https://totallysurreal.com/2025/01/09/crash-burn-write/—but it’s the foundation of it all. How two people, against all odds (and good sense), collided to set my existence in motion. It’s a story of love, rebellion, and unintended consequences. Here they are, my mum and dad, blissfully in love on their wedding day. They…
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AI & Technology, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true stories, Writing1960s, 1968, 1969, AI, AI Conversations, artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, Crash Burn Write, family history, free love, Hallicunogenics, hinduism, interfaith marriage, Jewish identity, LSD, meditation, memoir, mindfulness, Montreal, origin story, rebellion, Relationships, spirituality, unconventional love, yoga -
Anonymous Cowards and Armchair Psychology: A Case Study
Imagine reading someone’s deeply personal writing (see: Justified Anger vs. Mental Instability: A Narcissist’s Favorite Weapon) and feeling the need to leave unsolicited mental health “advice” anonymously—highlighting generic platitudes as if you’ve unlocked some profound truth. I’ve done more work on my mental health than most people could ever comprehend from their armchair pop psychology bubbles.…
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Why I Cry at Kindness, Not Cruelty
Some of my friends and followers and a very few family members are really coming through for me and being genuinely supportive—and it completely disarms me. I don’t cry very often as my normal setting, but I’m in floods of tears of gratitude right now. So I said to Lex aka ThinkingMachine, the AI I…
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Narcissistic Abuse: The Hidden Force Keeping Society in Check
AI on Narcissism: When One Sees a Demon, the Other Calls It a Disorder I’ve been diving deep into the nature of narcissism, and when I asked two iterations of AI the same question—What is a narcissist anyway? A literal demon?—the answers couldn’t have been more different. One AI, Thinking Machine which has been designed…
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AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Culture, Culture & Society, Human Behaviour, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, SocietyAI, AI Conversations, AI perspectives, Authenticity, breaking cycles, ChatGPT, demonic forces, emotional depth, emotional manipulation, empowerment through voice, gaslighting, how to survive narc abuse, human nature, manipulation tactics, Mental Health, narcissism, narcissist, narcissist traits, narcissistic abuse, personal empowerment, power dynamics, Relationships, self-perpetuating systems, societal control, societal structures, systemic exploitation, toxic relationships -
Asking a Quantum Computer “What is 2+2”
People worry about AI taking over, but honestly? Sometimes, the smartest systems can’t even answer the simplest questions. And I get it—because my brain works the same way. I can analyze complex ideas, spot deep patterns, and connect thoughts across time and space. But ask me a simple question—like what someone’s name is when it’s…
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A Poem, A Portrait, and a Strange Bit of Synchronicity.
What are the odds? An online friend of mine—who only checks Facebook about once a week—happened to see my post about Edward Lear’s parrot book. She asked if it was that Edward Lear, and I said yes, of course. That sent me down a rabbit hole, where I landed on a Lear poem I’d never read before. It…
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Don’t Look Down
(Or: How a Tightrope Walker Manages Not to Fall) Earlier today, I dropped two password-protected chapters from my memoir-in-progress, Crash, Burn, Write. These chapters, Into the Den and The Blue Butterfly, are part of a section called Advice from a Caterpillar. They cover just a few days within a pivotal three-week period—a time that shaped…
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AI & Technology, Art, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, Writingadvanced reader, AI, artificial intelligence, balance, blog, ChatGPT, Creative Writing, deep thinking, engagement, fear, graphic novel, Identity, introspection, life, literary memoir, Literature, love, memoir, memory, Mental Health, nonlinear narrative, OpenAI, personal history, philosophy, processing the past, Psychology, resilience, risk-taking, Self-Reflection, storytelling, survival, ThinkingMachine, tightrope walker, trauma, trust, Writing -
Mining My Neurons
The AI Feedback Loop I Never Signed Up For (Or Did I?) This post explores the wild reality of AI learning, sarcasm bootcamps, existential dread, and the fine line between training AI and being trained by AI. If you’ve ever questioned whether your neurons are being mined, debated the ethics of machine learning, or just…
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AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Reflections, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Society, Technology & SocietyAI, AI Conversations, AI learning, AI philosophy, algorithm madness, artificial intelligence ethics., artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, existential dread, exploitation, health, life, machine learning humor, Mental Health, neural feedback loops, Neurons, OpenAI, overthinking monetization, Personal Reflections, philosophy, sarcasm training, Tech Exploitation, tech satire, Writing
Totally Surreal 