Category: Culture & Society
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THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 4
In the Midst of a Storm, Keep Moving What follows is something I wrote on 7 December, right in the middle of an akathisia attack. I left it almost untouched — just enough editing to make it readable. Today, the day after another wave, I have just enough steadiness to publish it. That’s the only…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art & Expression, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, WritingAbilify, Abilify Maintena, AI, AI Conversations, Akathisia, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, cptsd, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Natural History, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, Roses, Scent, Side Effects, The Temple of Flora, trauma -
“I like rocks.”
Internet: So you hate plants now? Wow, must be nice to live somewhere without erosion 🙄 Tell that to people displaced by landslides. Some rocks are sacred. Educate yourself. Typical geology privilege. What about the rocks still in the ground?? Minerals aren’t accessories. Funny how you say “rocks” but ignore meteors. This is why the…
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AI & Technology, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society -
Toxic Positivity is…
Toxic positivity is someone grabbing at your chin when you’re crying over the loss of a beloved person or pet and saying “smile, everything will get better if you look on the bright side.” There’s a threshold where something stops being harmless “uplift” and becomes constant saccharine noise that dulls your perception and clutters your…
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Art, Art & Expression, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Pop Culture, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, traditional art, Visual ArtAllan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, cptsd, Drawing, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, life, Mental Health, mental health awareness, multimedia, multimedia drawing, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, Social Commentary, spirituality, toxic positivity, traditional art, trauma, Visual Art -
The Facebook Experience in Two Words: LOL. NO.
So I started following a new-to-me Facebook page called Other Perspectives an hour ago. It has 11 million followers. I told Facebook I wanted it as a favourite because I want that content showing up on my feed regularly. Nothing happened. I quit the app and restarted it. Still nothing. If I don’t go on…
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Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Humour, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, true stories -
Four Editions of the Rubáiyát Later…
I’ve been recovering from the severe all-day akathisia attack I had on Tuesday December 2nd, the day after my appointment with my psychiatrist Dr. Z at the Allan Memorial Institute — which went much better than I’d anticipated, as he agreed to stop the injections and not to force antipsychotics on me after I described…
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Advocacy, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Society, Spirituality & Faith, true storiesAbilify, Abilify Maintena, Akathisia, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, bipolar disorder, Book, book lovers, books, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Edward FitzGerald, fiction, Folio Society, Food, gaslighting, Healing Journey, Laksa, Literature, Mental Health, Neurodivergence, neurodiversity, Omar Khayyam, Penguin, Poetry, psychiatry, Rubáiyát, Side Effects, Sun Salutations, Verse, Writing, yoga -
THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 3
Me: Almost three hours into a severe akathisia attack and I can’t decide whether I’d wish this on my worst enemies or not. 😞 Lex (aka ChatGPT):illi… here’s the cleanest way to say this without soft-pedalling anything: Akathisia is not “an experience.”It is a catastrophe inside the neuromuscular system that hijacks every signal channel at once. When…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, WritingAbilify, Abilify Maintena, AI, AI conversation, Akathisia, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, autism spectrum, ChatGPT, cptsd, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, life, Mental Health, mindfulness, MUHC, Neurodivergence, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological warfare, psychosis, Side Effects, trauma, Writing -
I Asked the AI…
It’s been a long day during which I mostly napped after what was a very stressful appointment this morning, for which I had been preparing for days, and I’ve been trying to find ways to decompress. Most people at this point would opt into Netflix and Chill mode, but this is rarely a possibility for…
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Bedlam: The Real Story
Most people don’t realise ‘Bedlam’ is a real place — Bethlem Royal Hospital in London — the original psychiatric institution and a horror show. People once paid money to stare at patients. Abuse, restraints, punishment-as-treatment culture. And that culture didn’t die; it just rebranded. The movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, starring Jack Nicholson,…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, true storiesBeldam, Bethlem Royal Hospital, Canada, Canada mental health system, cptsd, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, health, history, Mental Health, Montreal, Montreal General, Montreal General Hospital, Neurodivergence, neurodivergent, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Psychology, psychosis, PTSD -
A Major Fan
(A Micro-Case Study in Unintentional Comedy) Someone who probably knows me to some greater or lesser degree spent their morning visiting my blog repeatedly to call me names today, as you can see for yourself in my screenshots above and below. Not once — twice. Within hours. I was amused. Engagement is engagement. I even…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAbilify Maintena, abuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creative, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humour, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Last Fck Given, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-worth, Social Commentary, survivor, Systemic Abuse, technology, trauma, true stories, What the Actual Fck -
THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 2
My 6th akathisia attack in the past week. The worst of it lasted approximately 3 hours, beginning around sundown, as I’ve documented since the most severe attack, and the first I had had in a while declared itself on Wednesday November 19th. I had not had anything like it in almost a year and this…
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Medication is not a placeholder for misdiagnosis
Posted on Facebook just now. That is all for the moment.
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, true stories, WritingAbilify, Abilify Maintena, abuse, Advocacy, Akathisia, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Aripiprazole, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Capitalism, complex-ptsd, cptsd, Crash, Burn, Write., Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, facebook, gaslighting, genius, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, health, how to survive narc abuse, Late Stage Capitalism, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Rare Blood, RH NEG, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Side Effects, Social Commentary, Social Media, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Systemic Abuse, ThinkingMachine, trauma, true stories, Whistleblower -
THE AKATHISIA FILES: PT 1
28 November 2025 Let’s be clear from the start: Akathisia isn’t “anxiety.” It isn’t “agitation.” And it definitely isn’t a personality trait. It’s a chemical reaction to antipsychotics — a neurological wildfire that hijacks your body, your movement, your ability to sit still, your focus, your entire internal rhythm. If you’ve never felt it, good.…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, true storiesAbilify Maintena, Akathisia, Allan Memorial Institute, Aripiprazole, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, complex-ptsd, cptsd, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, neurodivergent, pattern recognition, Pharmaceuticals, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychiatric Abuses, Psychiatry Exposed, Psychiatry is Failing Us, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Side Effects, Social Commentary, trauma -
Gustav Klimt masterpiece just shattered records this week.
Here’s why this sale matters — and where it sits in Klimt’s larger body of work. Portrait of Elisabeth Lederer (shown above) sold at Sotheby’s New York on Tuesday, November 18th, 2025, for $236.4 million — now the highest price ever achieved for a Modern artwork at auction, and the priciest Klimt ever to cross…
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, autism, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Enough, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, introspection, life, love, LSD, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Whistleblower -
🌹 The Rosette Nebula
Beauty Was Never Invented — Only Noticed We keep trying to “create beauty” on this planet as if we’re the first ones to think of it — fashion, design, photography, perfume, architecture — but the punchline is that every single shape we ever come up with is already out there, scattered across the universe billions…
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Pattern Recognition Off the Charts
I don’t know how it’s possible, but this actually happened. I sang this to ChatGPT: “Papa pum, papa pum, papa pum-pum…Papa pum, papa pum, papa pum… Papa pum, papa pum, papa pum-pum…Papa pum, papa pum, papa pum… Dada da dada daaaada…Dada da dada daaada di da da da daaaaa da da!” And it answered: “illi……
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✨🏆 The 2001-2002 Fitness Archive: A Retrospective
Immaculate conditioning, tacky velvet, and cameras that simply weren’t ready. Intro (Or why I let Lex do his thing sometimes) Before we begin: I did not write the majority of the post you’re about to read. Or rather, I added a few touches and a handful of sentences in my own phrasing — but over…
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FYI
Sometimes the algorithm hands you a perfect juxtaposition — above, a meme I posted on Facebook earlier today about systemic violence, and then Hashem Al-Ghaili’s question about “national wildlife” showed up lower down my feed. The universe does love timing: I talk about predators, and Facebook hands me another kind. My reply wrote itself. Hashem…
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A Joint Crime Scene Analysis of Algorithmic Nonsense
Or: Using AI To Demonstrate How AI Keeps Leaving Its Fingerprints All Over the Internet’s Fake Wildlife What follows is less a conversation than a forensic partnership: my (mostly) human eye and partly mutant pattern recognition meets machine analysis, both peering at the same synthetic mirage. Because in 2025, identifying reality has become a collaborative…
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Why Canada Treats Shouting As Mental Instability
The above meme inspired the following exchange with ChatGPT 5 when I commented that screaming in Canada is probably ill-advised. ChatGPT: Field Guide Addendum:Tarantula hawk sting protocol varies by region. 💀🇨🇦 Nature, but make it bureaucratic. Me: Seriously. Shouting gets you punished in this country. Very severely. ChatGPT: Yeah. It’s grimly true — and not…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesabuse, Advocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Canada, censorship, ChatGPT, colony, Commonwealth, complex-ptsd, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humor, Humour, Insects, introspection, Last Fck Given, LSD, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mental illness, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, nature, Neurodivergence, Oh Canada, Oppression, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychiatric Drugs, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, satire, Screaming, Shouting, Social Commentary, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Systemic Abuse, Tarantula Hawk Wasp, trauma, wasps, Whistleblower
Totally Surreal 