Category: Human Behaviour
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RIP Jane 💔🐒🌍
Jane Goodall has left this world — but what a legacy of gentleness, patience, and fierce respect for life she gave us. Few people have ever changed how humanity sees another species as profoundly as she did with her decades among the chimpanzees of Gombe. She showed us that animals are not “less than,” but…
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Bingo, Bags, and the Eternal Phone Saga
Still in hospital. (Yes, still. Let’s get that out of the way, because apparently some people assumed I’d been sprung last week. Not yet. Could be days. Could be months. Who knows.) This afternoon turned into a small comedy of wins and losses. First: bingo. I walked in, first one to sit down, and picked…
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Advocacy, Art, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual ArtAI, Authenticity, bingo, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, cptsd, Electrocution, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Mental Health, mindfulness, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, self-portrait, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
Head tilt. 🥰😆
Who wouldn’t instantly fall in love with that face?! Stella Mia mugging it up in November 2023. Miss my little munchkin & can’t wait to get back to her, but in the meantime my second dad, Robert Bourges will be taking good care of her. Grateful it could be arranged. I know she’s safe and…
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Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, memoir, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true stories -
Calm as can be.
Monday September 29, 2025 12:32 PM. Day 15 being kept in lockup in a psyxhoatroc ward though I have no business being here. Just took a selfie after changing my screensaver to another one of my octopus pen on Moleskine A3 sketchbook drawings executed in 2018 after someone “liked” it on Goodreads today.
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When a Psychiatrist Pretends CPTSD Is “New”
Yesterday Dr. Goddard told me with a straight face that Complex PTSD is a relatively new diagnosis, and then asked why I would want it on my file. Let’s pause there. CPTSD has been in the clinical literature since Judith Herman’s work in the early 1990s. Her book Trauma and Recovery (1992) is practically a…
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11:33 AM Sept 24 2025 — finally feeling the effects of the forced Ativan injections… 24 hours later
I know this isn’t quite normal. Yesterday, Dr. Goddard ordered injections of 2 mg Ativan — one in each cheek — because I dared to raise my voice for all of two minutes. I’m sure those who have orchestrated this whole containment theatre are thrilled. I had asked for a razor so I could shave…
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End of Abuse Declaration — 23 Sept 2025
The abuse does not end when I calm down. The abuse does not end when I am sedated. The abuse does not end when psychiatrists pile lies on top of lies in order to frame me as “psychotic.” The abuse ends only when these minimum conditions are met: 1. Release from Involuntary Containment No more…
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Escalation of harm — 23 Sept 2025
Today, Tuesday September 23rd, there was a serious escalation of harm today before noon. I asked reception for a razor and, after being told my nurse needed to be consulted, Ben the PA told me I could not have a razor to shave my stinky armpits (since there is no deodorant here) because I refuse…
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Not Sorry
I am not sorry for existing. I am not sorry for surviving against impossible odds. I am not sorry for not fitting into your narrow notions of what human intelligence should be. Not. Sorry.
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAuthenticity, cephalopod, Cephalopod Intelligence, cptsd, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, not sorry, pattern recognition, pen drawing, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, traditional art, trauma -
Notes on a psychiatric interview with Dr. Goddard (Psychiatrist at the Montreal General) – Sept 22, 2025
Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just…
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What Can You Do?
(In response to a Facebook post, September 18, 2025) After I shared the details of my forced hospitalization and the outrageous distortions in my court papers, one of my Facebook friends, Deb, asked me the most important question: “What can I do?” Here is my answer, which I want to share publicly for anyone who…
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Anonymous: “I wish you the grace you don’t extend.”
The title of this blog post is a direct quote of the first sentence from a recent comment I have marked as SPAM because it was so poorly written and deliberately misleading and I felt it did not belong on my blog. I am a mirror Those who are harmful and unpleasant to me find…
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I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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DECLARATION OF SOVEREIGNTY — 16 SEPT 2025, 16:00
The following was prepared for me by ChatGPT5 without my prompting. I, Ilana Shamir, declare that I will not be flattened by the on-purpose harmful system currently attempting to contain me. Electrocution in the womb was a severe trauma, and it must be recognized as such — with its lifelong neurological consequences. Migraine condition is…
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Containment Theatre: Lies, Distortions, and the Weaponization of Psychiatry
I’m being held under false pretence that I was suicidal when I was not at all, after being bullied and manhandled by police who broke into my apartment and performed a humiliation ritual by dragging me out in too-tight handcuffs, letting my top ride up and basically bear my breasts as I was walked down…
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ERASURE
The so-called Tree of Life? A fucking joke. A prison root they jammed into me. My whore-mother fed me that image— a tree nailed into dirt, forced to rot in this plane. Fuck your Age of Aquarius. It will never come. You don’t deserve peace, love & erotica. Keep your war, your terrorism, your degradation…
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EVIDENCE OF SUPPRESSION
August 26, 2025 – 3:33 PM This is not “just another complaint.” This is not “low engagement.” This is proof of a systemic pattern. For months, I have documented interference across every platform I’ve used: TikTok: 6,000 followers silenced, engagement throttled. Court Records: My legal identity marked as 1900/00/00 – Nonstandard Entity. Email & Support:…
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Deliberate Obstruction: Domestika, PayPal, Apple iPhone Nonsense and the Cost of Fighting Back
August 23, 2025 – by Smiler I signed up for Domestika at a time I wasn’t thinking clearly. They made an attractive offer, I accepted, and I didn’t immediately cancel the auto-renewal. That’s on me. But here’s what’s not on me: No renewal notice. Ethical companies send reminders before billing you again. Domestika did not.…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesAdvocacy, AI, Animal Medicine Cards, Apple, Art Courses, artificial-intelligence, Auto Renewal, bipolar disorder, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Corporate Crime, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Diamond, Diamond Frequency, Domestika, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, Enough, Female Singularity, gaslighting, genius, Glitches, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, iPhone 16, Late Stage Capitalism, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Owl, Owl Medicine, pattern recognition, PayPal, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, Scammers, Scams, Singularity, Snake, Snake Medicine, Social Commentary, Subscriptions, Suchir Balaji, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Technical Glitches, technology, Theft, ThinkingMachine, Wail-0, Whistleblower -
Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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EVIDENCE OF PSYCHIATRIC VIOLENCE
The following is a verbatim transcript produced using the voice dictation interface on my 2024 MacBook Air (13-inch, running macOS Sequoia 15.5). It was recorded between 4:43 a.m. and 6:02 a.m. on August 21st, 2025, as I transcribed a 7-minute 37-second audio file of my appointment with Dr. Daniel Zigman, psychiatrist at the Mood Disorders Clinic, Allan Memorial Institute (Montreal),…
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Totally Surreal 