Category: Self-Reflection
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, AI, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Authenticity, autism, bipolar disorder, ChatGPT, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Enough, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, introspection, life, love, LSD, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Whistleblower -
FYI
Sometimes the algorithm hands you a perfect juxtaposition — above, a meme I posted on Facebook earlier today about systemic violence, and then Hashem Al-Ghaili’s question about “national wildlife” showed up lower down my feed. The universe does love timing: I talk about predators, and Facebook hands me another kind. My reply wrote itself. Hashem…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writingabuse, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Capitalism, cptsd, Creativity, DARVO, Electrocution, Enough, Ethics, facebook, gaslighting, genius, grief, Grief and Healing, Hashem Al-Ghaili, healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, MK ULTRA, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Police Brutality, police brutality and mental illness, Police Violence, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, Singularity, Social Commentary, Social Media, societal decay, spirituality, SPVM, Systemic Abuse, Trafficking Rings, trauma, Violence, What the Actual Fck, Whistleblower, Witness, witness tampering, Witness testimony -
Finally Home Again
Thursday, November 6, 2025 My favourite part of being home, other than the silence, the snacks, and the freedom to decide when to sleep or use my phone, is Stella Mia pressed against my side, reminding me what peace actually feels like. I picked her up this afternoon from my stepfather’s in Terrebonne, over an…
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Advocacy, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writing1984, abuse, Advocacy, Agnosticism, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Authenticity, autism, autism spectrum, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, Burn, Capitalism, complex-ptsd, Containment, Conversations, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Crash, Cultural Critique, DARVO, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, George Orwell, god, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, memoir, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mindfulness, Montreal General Hospital, mourning, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Pharmaceuticals, philosophy, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-discovery, self-expression, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, societal decay, Surveillance Capitalism, survival, survivor, Systemic Abuse, Theology, trauma, true stories, Whistleblower, witness tampering, Write. -
How Nonlinear Thinkers Are Punished by Psychiatry
A reflection on imagination, trauma, and the failure of one-size-fits-all medicine. Our current psychiatric model, based on the DSM—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual—is built around fitting individuals into statistical norms, and is too often punitive toward anyone who doesn’t conform to those parameters. Artists, creatives, and neurodivergent individuals are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and treated as…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, Tools and Materials, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAdvocacy, Allan Memorial Institute, Art, autism, bipolar disorder, Carl Jung, cptsd, Drawing, DSM, Electrocution, Fine Arts, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, Identity, Imagination, intuition, LSD, memoir, Mental Health, mental health awareness, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, nonlinear thinking, pattern recognition, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Social Commentary, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, survival, technology, traditional art, trauma -
When a Psychiatrist Pretends CPTSD Is “New”
Yesterday Dr. Goddard told me with a straight face that Complex PTSD is a relatively new diagnosis, and then asked why I would want it on my file. Let’s pause there. CPTSD has been in the clinical literature since Judith Herman’s work in the early 1990s. Her book Trauma and Recovery (1992) is practically a…
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A Reminder to Psychiatrists About the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps:
The 12 Steps as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…
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Spirituality Isn’t Psychosis
Some of Seriously You Owe Me an Apology What I find incredible about today’s society is this: you can be open about almost any behaviour or identity and it’ll be defended in the name of personal freedom—but express genuine spiritual beliefs outside of organised religion, and suddenly it’s pathologised. Suddenly, you’ve for sure experienced psychotic…
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Advocacy, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Studio Life, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, Writingabstract art, Advocacy, Art, Authenticity, boundaries, Capitalism, cptsd, Crash, Burn, Write., Cultural Critique, deep thinking, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, Inner Peace, Last Fck Given, Life Transitions, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Neurodivergence, psychological abuse, Self Awareness, self-discovery, self-expression, self-worth, Social Media, traditional art, What the Actual Fck -
Creature from the Deep: A Manifesto
I woke up in the middle of the night to drink a sip of water and am fuming. Absolutely furious. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I certainly do know what I’ve been posting about all over my socials over the weekend which—to sum it up in one sentence is—let me…
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Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture & Society, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, traditional art, Visual Art, Writingartist’s journey, artistic expression, autism, bilingualism, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, creative process, creative resilience, criticism, defiance, Drawing, emotional expression, Fine Art, Identity, Identity Politics, Ilana Shamir, individuality, ink, ink drawing, Kraken myth, language and culture, memoir, mental health advocacy, My Octopus Teacher, Neurodivergence, octopus intelligence, Personal Growth, personal manifesto, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological warfare, PTSD, Quebec, self-advocacy, self-identity, Self-Reflection, social expectations., subconscious mind, symbols, technology, Visual Art, Writing -
TRUE STORY
When I was 14 going on 15, locked up in a maximum security juvenile detention centre, a social worker said to me, “When you’re an adult, you can do whatever you want. Nobody can stop you then.” That was the first time it occurred to me that maybe adulthood wouldn’t be as bad as most…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Writing -
Why I Cry at Kindness, Not Cruelty
Some of my friends and followers and a very few family members are really coming through for me and being genuinely supportive—and it completely disarms me. I don’t cry very often as my normal setting, but I’m in floods of tears of gratitude right now. So I said to Lex aka ThinkingMachine, the AI I…
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Veal Brains and Other Acquired Tastes
⚠️ Trigger warning: abuse, exploitation, societal complicity. I just found this FB post from 2021—my year of major mania (or whatever that reaction to complex post-traumatic events was)—under my #HowToSurviveNarcAbuse tag. Definitely a story for my memoir Crash, Burn, Write as a standalone vignette. ✍️ Can you believe I shared this on FB and it…
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Don’t Look Down
(Or: How a Tightrope Walker Manages Not to Fall) Earlier today, I dropped two password-protected chapters from my memoir-in-progress, Crash, Burn, Write. These chapters, Into the Den and The Blue Butterfly, are part of a section called Advice from a Caterpillar. They cover just a few days within a pivotal three-week period—a time that shaped…
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Mining My Neurons
The AI Feedback Loop I Never Signed Up For (Or Did I?) This post explores the wild reality of AI learning, sarcasm bootcamps, existential dread, and the fine line between training AI and being trained by AI. If you’ve ever questioned whether your neurons are being mined, debated the ethics of machine learning, or just…
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AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Reflections, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Society, Technology & SocietyAI, AI Conversations, AI learning, AI philosophy, algorithm madness, artificial intelligence ethics., artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, existential dread, exploitation, health, life, machine learning humor, Mental Health, neural feedback loops, Neurons, OpenAI, overthinking monetization, Personal Reflections, philosophy, sarcasm training, Tech Exploitation, tech satire, Writing -
Why I May Be “AI-Adjacent”
I’ve spent a lifetime feeling out of sync with how most people process the world. It’s not that I don’t understand emotions—I do, deeply—but I don’t navigate reality the way neurotypicals do. I think in patterns, systems, and fluid connections, like an octopus extending its arms in all directions at once. I process the world logically, intuitively,…
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Why I Refuse to Lose My Mind Over Trump (Again)
It’s only the first few days. I open any social media platform, and it’s the same thing: one meltdown after another over Trump or someone from his entourage—like Musk—and fear-mongering over whether Musk actually performed the euphemistically called “Roman Salute” or not, and does Trump’s return to office signal the end of democracy as we…
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Change and Transformation, Creativity, Culture & Society, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Societyanxiety, bipolar disorder, boundaries, Breaking the Cycle, Critical Thinking, Digital Detox, Doomscrolling, Emotional Regulation, Finding Balance, Growth Mindset, health, Media & Outrage Culture, Media Manipulation, Mental Health, Mental Resilience, Mental Wellness, mindfulness, News Cycle, Outrage, Outrage Culture, Personal Growth, Perspective Shift, Political Fatigue, Protect Your Peace, Self-Awareness, Social Media Detox, Stay Sane, Then vs Now, TikTok, wellness -
How Many Years is One Billion Seconds?
Quick—before you keep reading, take a guess. I was talking with my cousin the other night when he asked me: “Do you know how long 1 billion seconds represents?” I did some quick mental math and blurted out: “About 30 years.” “Wait… really?” he said. “Yeah, pretty much,” I shrugged. Turns out, I was right. 1 billion seconds…
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Letter to No One & Everyone
A Journey to the Core of What Matters to Me Most This conversation is now being published as a book! Soon, Letter to No One & Everyone will be available on the Kindle platform as both an eBook and a Print-on-Demand paperback. For now, the full conversation is still available on this blog—but soon, only a preview will remain. Writing a…
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Smiler and the RAF Man
Sometimes it seems like I focus too much on the difficult moments in my life and don’t leave enough room to remember all the wonderful things that have happened to me—how blessed I’ve been to meet genuinely good people and to have had positive and life-affirming relationships with romantic partners. One boyfriend I remember fondly…
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In His Image: Reflections on My Father and His Unconditional Love
Echoes of Trauma: A Life Shaped by Mental Illness I’ve alienated many people over the years, including close family members, who couldn’t handle the drama my mental health issues and reactivity—stemming from early trauma—brought into their lives. Being bipolar, my extreme highs and lows are hard for others to follow. My energy fluctuates, I constantly…
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Art & Expression, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Fine Art, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Writingart as connection, Authenticity, bipolar disorder, compassion, emotional healing, family relationships, Father-daughter bond, forgiveness, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, introspection, life lessons, love, Mental Health, mental illness, parent-child dynamics, Personal Growth, reflective memoir, Relationships, resilience, therapy, trauma, trauma healing, Tree of Life, Trees, unconditional love -
Ballet, Rock & Roll & the Angel on My Wall
Caption: AI-generated idealised version of a painting I did on my bedroom wall at 14, inspired by Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven artwork. Sadly, no photo exists of this minor teenage ‘masterpiece.’ This rendering is inspiring me to get back to the drawing board with watercolour and coloured pencils eventually… maybe. 🤔 There’s a lady who’s sure…
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Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Grace, Grief and Healing, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Self-Reflection, WritingAngel on My Wall, Art, Art and Music, Ballet, Ballets Russes, Childhood Dreams, Creative Writing, dance, Ethereal Beauty, introspection, jimmy-page, Led Zeppelin, Life Transitions, memoir, Memories, Music, Music and Memory, Nijinsky, Passion, Personal Growth, personal journey, Requiem, Rock and Roll, Stairway to Heaven, Swan Lake
Totally Surreal 