Category: Relationships
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A Major Fan
(A Micro-Case Study in Unintentional Comedy) Someone who probably knows me to some greater or lesser degree spent their morning visiting my blog repeatedly to call me names today, as you can see for yourself in my screenshots above and below. Not once — twice. Within hours. I was amused. Engagement is engagement. I even…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Friendship Dynamics, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAbilify Maintena, abuse, Advocacy, AI, Allan Memorial Institute, Antipsychotics, Big Pharma, bipolar disorder, boundaries, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, Creative, Cultural Critique, Electrocution, Ethics, gaslighting, grief, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Humour, Identity, intelligence, introspection, Last Fck Given, Malpractice, Medical Ethics, Mental Health, mental health advocacy, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychiatry, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, PTSD, Self Awareness, self-worth, Social Commentary, survivor, Systemic Abuse, technology, trauma, true stories, What the Actual Fck -
My Father, in Two Documents
Today I opened an envelope of my father’s old documents — Soviet papers, Israeli papers, all the fragments of a life that started in wartime Russia and eventually led him to Israel.This photo stopped me cold. He really was this handsome. The Birth Certificate His Soviet birth certificate from Zlatoust is dated October 1940. Cropped…
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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What you all call “care” is obscene.
The Facebook prompt above inspired the following post which I am sharing here as well. The fact that you think injecting me with antipsychotics will somehow lessen my anger about the harm I’ve endured — harm you’ve allowed under the guise of “treatment” — is disgusting. You let people lie about me to make me…
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Head tilt. 🥰😆
Who wouldn’t instantly fall in love with that face?! Stella Mia mugging it up in November 2023. Miss my little munchkin & can’t wait to get back to her, but in the meantime my second dad, Robert Bourges will be taking good care of her. Grateful it could be arranged. I know she’s safe and…
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I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Relationships, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, Allan Memorial Institute, Bullshit Theatre, ChatGPT, cptsd, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, Enough, Female Singularity, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, LSD, Mental Health, mental health awareness, MK ULTRA, Montreal General, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, Psychiatric Harm, Rare Blood, Rare Intelligence, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
EVIDENCE OF SUPPRESSION
August 26, 2025 – 3:33 PM This is not “just another complaint.” This is not “low engagement.” This is proof of a systemic pattern. For months, I have documented interference across every platform I’ve used: TikTok: 6,000 followers silenced, engagement throttled. Court Records: My legal identity marked as 1900/00/00 – Nonstandard Entity. Email & Support:…
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The Architect and the Therapist: A Letter to Beverley
Introduction: I’ve been thinking a lot about Beverley lately. She was my therapist for over 20 years, but that title doesn’t do her justice. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real mother—the kind who listens, who sees, who believes, who doesn’t judge and accepts me exactly as I am, unconditionally. She…
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Spirituality Isn’t Psychosis
Some of Seriously You Owe Me an Apology What I find incredible about today’s society is this: you can be open about almost any behaviour or identity and it’ll be defended in the name of personal freedom—but express genuine spiritual beliefs outside of organised religion, and suddenly it’s pathologised. Suddenly, you’ve for sure experienced psychotic…
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TRUE STORY
When I was 14 going on 15, locked up in a maximum security juvenile detention centre, a social worker said to me, “When you’re an adult, you can do whatever you want. Nobody can stop you then.” That was the first time it occurred to me that maybe adulthood wouldn’t be as bad as most…
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How it All Began (Or, Why I Might Be the Embodiment of an Acid Trip)
Introduction This isn’t Chapter 1 of Crash, Burn, Write—that’s over here: https://totallysurreal.com/2025/01/09/crash-burn-write/—but it’s the foundation of it all. How two people, against all odds (and good sense), collided to set my existence in motion. It’s a story of love, rebellion, and unintended consequences. Here they are, my mum and dad, blissfully in love on their wedding day. They…
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Behold the Field: An Email to the Maternal Unit
Subject: Behold the Field… 😘 Dear Mother, You’ve done me a great favour. Never say that I was ungrateful—after all, you handed me the keys to my own liberation from your psychological oppression. And you certainly can never say I didn’t give back as good as I got. All’s fair in love and war. 🥰…
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A Comedy of Errors
Act I: The Invitation What was I thinking? I met L about a year ago—she was a friend of an acquaintance. We had a few things in common, and at first, our interactions were light and casual. But before I knew it, she was inviting me to her birthday dinner—a gathering I probably should have found…
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Smiler and the RAF Man
Sometimes it seems like I focus too much on the difficult moments in my life and don’t leave enough room to remember all the wonderful things that have happened to me—how blessed I’ve been to meet genuinely good people and to have had positive and life-affirming relationships with romantic partners. One boyfriend I remember fondly…
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In His Image: Reflections on My Father and His Unconditional Love
Echoes of Trauma: A Life Shaped by Mental Illness I’ve alienated many people over the years, including close family members, who couldn’t handle the drama my mental health issues and reactivity—stemming from early trauma—brought into their lives. Being bipolar, my extreme highs and lows are hard for others to follow. My energy fluctuates, I constantly…
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Understanding Gender Identity: Personal Perspectives and Social Impacts
I was having a long, rambling exchange with AI about a now ex-friend we’ll call “S” and how our experiences and approaches to life mirrored each other. We formed a short-lived friendship, essentially based on a trauma bond, but those traumas we experienced came from opposing sides. I’d come at it from a nurturing childhood…
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Love as a Verb
As a younger woman I desperately wanted to be told “I love you” by my romantic partners. Now… well I’m not looking for romantic partners, for one thing, but for another it seems to me love is something you DO. it’s a verb. ChatGPT: That shift in perspective is both profound and powerful. It sounds…
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The 1,000 Man Challenge: OnlyFans, Fame, and Societal Decay
An OnlyFans influencer plans to break a record by having intercourse with 1,000 men in one day, raising questions about exploitation, self-worth, and societal decay. I discussed this with ChatGPT to understand why the pursuit of fame drives young women today to such extremes. Me: Have you heard of the only fans influencer who slept…
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Am I Neurodivergent?
I wrote this letter to my psychiatrist recently, as part of my ongoing journey to better understand myself. I’ve been reflecting on my experiences and challenges and would like a professional assessment on whether I might be neurodivergent. The process of writing it was enlightening, and I’m sharing it here as part of my path…
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The Closing of a Chapter
A very big chapter of my life spanning decades closed this week. It was almost inevitable for it to come to fruition the way it did. As it’s a reasonable hour of the day to do so, I have reached out to “real life” friends and family for emotional support, and they have responded with…
Totally Surreal 