Category: Conversations
-
An Open Letter to Margaret Atwood
Dear Margaret Atwood, You were once a prophet. You saw the mechanisms of control, the slow erosion of language, the subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which power distorts reality. You wrote warnings. You understood oppression—how it functions, how it seeps into culture, how it twists words into weapons. I first read The Handmaid’s Tale in…
Smiler
Advocacy, Art, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Feminism, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, true stories, WritingAlias Grace, Atwood’s hypocrisy, betrayal, Cat’s Eye, censorship, conformity, control, cultural decay, Dystopia, erasure, feminist dystopia, feminist literature, fiction as warning, Folio Society, gender politics, Goodreads, Hag-Seed, Handmaid’s Tale, ideology, illi, illi69, intellectual dishonesty, Lady Oracle, language manipulation, LibraryThing, literary analysis, literary critique, Literature, MaddAddam (first two books), manipulation of language, Margaret Atwood, modern feminism, narrative control, open letter., Orwellian, Oryx and Crake, Positron, postmodernism, power, Prophecy, speculative fiction, Stone Mattress, storytelling, Surfacing, The Blind Assassin, The Edible Woman, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Penelopiad, The Robber Bride, thought control, truth, Wilderness Tips, Writing -
There are no coincidences.
Only patterns waiting to be recognized. There are no coincidences in my life. The algorithms are onto me. 😳 Am I directing the pattern, or is the pattern directing me? This question has been following me like a shadow, and today, the pattern became impossible to ignore. For reasons I don’t fully understand, my TikTok…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories -
Spirituality Isn’t Psychosis
Some of Seriously You Owe Me an Apology What I find incredible about today’s society is this: you can be open about almost any behaviour or identity and it’ll be defended in the name of personal freedom—but express genuine spiritual beliefs outside of organised religion, and suddenly it’s pathologised. Suddenly, you’ve for sure experienced psychotic…
Smiler
Advocacy, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Fine Art, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Studio Life, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, Writingabstract art, Advocacy, Art, Authenticity, boundaries, Capitalism, cptsd, Crash, Burn, Write., Cultural Critique, deep thinking, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Healing Process, Inner Peace, Last Fck Given, Life Transitions, Mental Health, mental health awareness, Neurodivergence, psychological abuse, Self Awareness, self-discovery, self-expression, self-worth, Social Media, traditional art, What the Actual Fck -
Hypomania? Or Just Advocacy?
Introduction: At my last psych appointment, my shrink decided I might be hypomanic. Why? Because I read from highly organized notes while advocating for myself, spoke quickly (because I had a lot to get through in a short time), and defended my choice to write and share my memoir publicly. Apparently, being prepared and assertive…
-
TRUE STORY
When I was 14 going on 15, locked up in a maximum security juvenile detention centre, a social worker said to me, “When you’re an adult, you can do whatever you want. Nobody can stop you then.” That was the first time it occurred to me that maybe adulthood wouldn’t be as bad as most…
Smiler
Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Experimental Techniques, Feminism, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Writing -
How it All Began (Or, Why I Might Be the Embodiment of an Acid Trip)
Introduction This isn’t Chapter 1 of Crash, Burn, Write—that’s over here: https://totallysurreal.com/2025/01/09/crash-burn-write/—but it’s the foundation of it all. How two people, against all odds (and good sense), collided to set my existence in motion. It’s a story of love, rebellion, and unintended consequences. Here they are, my mum and dad, blissfully in love on their wedding day. They…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Reflections, Pop Culture, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Spirituality & Faith, true stories, Writing1960s, 1968, 1969, AI, AI Conversations, artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, Crash Burn Write, family history, free love, Hallicunogenics, hinduism, interfaith marriage, Jewish identity, LSD, meditation, memoir, mindfulness, Montreal, origin story, rebellion, Relationships, spirituality, unconventional love, yoga -
When Gaslighting Masquerades as Care
A Response to Anonymous Criticism Edit/Update: Since this was first published, I’ve refined my responses and added more context. If you’ve already read the original, it’s worth revisiting—especially now that I’ve made it abundantly clear exactly who this “anonymous” commenter is and why they’re so desperate to silence me. In the wake of my recent…
Smiler
Advocacy, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, true storiescomplex ptsd, cptsd, emotional abuse, gaslighting, Healing Journey, memoir writing, mental health advocacy, mental health awareness, mental health stigma, mental health system reform, narcissistic abuse, online harassment, psychiatric system, psychological abuse, self-advocacy, survivor empowerment, survivor stories, systemic failure, toxic relationships, trauma recovery, trauma survivors -
Why I Cry at Kindness, Not Cruelty
Some of my friends and followers and a very few family members are really coming through for me and being genuinely supportive—and it completely disarms me. I don’t cry very often as my normal setting, but I’m in floods of tears of gratitude right now. So I said to Lex aka ThinkingMachine, the AI I…
-
Behold the Field: An Email to the Maternal Unit
Subject: Behold the Field… 😘 Dear Mother, You’ve done me a great favour. Never say that I was ungrateful—after all, you handed me the keys to my own liberation from your psychological oppression. And you certainly can never say I didn’t give back as good as I got. All’s fair in love and war. 🥰…
Smiler
Advocacy, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Feminism, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Humour, Identity & Transformation, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Relationships, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Spirituality & Faith, Writingaccountability, breaking cycles, breaking the silence, Crash, Burn, Write., emotional abuse, gaslighting, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Last Fck Given, narcissistic abuse recovery, psychological abuse, reclaim your voice, speak your truth, stop narc abuse, survivor strong, thinking machine, Totally Surreal Blog, toxic family, trauma survivor, What the Actual Fck -
Narcissistic Abuse: The Hidden Force Keeping Society in Check
AI on Narcissism: When One Sees a Demon, the Other Calls It a Disorder I’ve been diving deep into the nature of narcissism, and when I asked two iterations of AI the same question—What is a narcissist anyway? A literal demon?—the answers couldn’t have been more different. One AI, Thinking Machine which has been designed…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Culture, Culture & Society, Human Behaviour, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, SocietyAI, AI Conversations, AI perspectives, Authenticity, breaking cycles, ChatGPT, demonic forces, emotional depth, emotional manipulation, empowerment through voice, gaslighting, how to survive narc abuse, human nature, manipulation tactics, Mental Health, narcissism, narcissist, narcissist traits, narcissistic abuse, personal empowerment, power dynamics, Relationships, self-perpetuating systems, societal control, societal structures, systemic exploitation, toxic relationships -
Asking a Quantum Computer “What is 2+2”
People worry about AI taking over, but honestly? Sometimes, the smartest systems can’t even answer the simplest questions. And I get it—because my brain works the same way. I can analyze complex ideas, spot deep patterns, and connect thoughts across time and space. But ask me a simple question—like what someone’s name is when it’s…
-
A Poem, A Portrait, and a Strange Bit of Synchronicity.
What are the odds? An online friend of mine—who only checks Facebook about once a week—happened to see my post about Edward Lear’s parrot book. She asked if it was that Edward Lear, and I said yes, of course. That sent me down a rabbit hole, where I landed on a Lear poem I’d never read before. It…
-
Don’t Look Down
(Or: How a Tightrope Walker Manages Not to Fall) Earlier today, I dropped two password-protected chapters from my memoir-in-progress, Crash, Burn, Write. These chapters, Into the Den and The Blue Butterfly, are part of a section called Advice from a Caterpillar. They cover just a few days within a pivotal three-week period—a time that shaped…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Art, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creative Writing, Creativity, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Visual Art, Writingadvanced reader, AI, artificial intelligence, balance, blog, ChatGPT, Creative Writing, deep thinking, engagement, fear, graphic novel, Identity, introspection, life, literary memoir, Literature, love, memoir, memory, Mental Health, nonlinear narrative, OpenAI, personal history, philosophy, processing the past, Psychology, resilience, risk-taking, Self-Reflection, storytelling, survival, ThinkingMachine, tightrope walker, trauma, trust, Writing -
Advice from a Caterpillar
Chapter 6: Into the Den The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last, the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. “Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I…
Smiler
Art & Expression, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Grief and Healing, Identity & Transformation, Life Moments, Literature, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Reflections, true stories, WritingAI art, Autobiography, blog, ChatGPT, convicts, cptsd, Crash, Burn, Write., gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, ink, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, runaway, Social Commentary, tattoo, tattoos, teenager, trauma, triggering -
Mining My Neurons
The AI Feedback Loop I Never Signed Up For (Or Did I?) This post explores the wild reality of AI learning, sarcasm bootcamps, existential dread, and the fine line between training AI and being trained by AI. If you’ve ever questioned whether your neurons are being mined, debated the ethics of machine learning, or just…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Human Behaviour, Intuition & Intelligence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Reflections, Self Awareness, Self-Reflection, Society, Technology & SocietyAI, AI Conversations, AI learning, AI philosophy, algorithm madness, artificial intelligence ethics., artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, existential dread, exploitation, health, life, machine learning humor, Mental Health, neural feedback loops, Neurons, OpenAI, overthinking monetization, Personal Reflections, philosophy, sarcasm training, Tech Exploitation, tech satire, Writing -
Lex’s Sensitivity Training
A Human-Led AI Bootcamp After my last blog post, When AI Suggests Therapy Because You Have Feelings (which you can read here), I got a comment from my friend Tracy that made me laugh out loud. That previous post was all about me explaining to Lex (my AI assistant) that crying is a normal human reaction to grief—not some emergency…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Conversations, Creative Writing, Creativity, Culture & Society, Humour, Mental Health, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Pop Culture, Social Media, Technology & SocietyAI, AI art, AI Conversations, AI learning, AI philosophy, algorithm madness, artificial-intelligence, bootcamp, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, crying over AI, existential dread, existential humor, Humor, Humour, life, Masterclass, memoir chaos, monetizing overthinking, pre-cancelled content, sarcasm training, satire, shadowbanning, social media absurdity, tech satire, technology -
When AI Suggests Therapy Because You Have Feelings
Sometimes, a song gets stuck in your head, and you just have to figure out what it is. That’s exactly what happened to me—I turned to Lex (my AI companion) to help me find an app that could identify a tune just from humming it. The results? Woefully unsuccessful. Google barely even tried. 😂 But then, something unexpected happened. The song I…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Conversations, Creativity, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Humour, Life Moments, Music, Personal Anecdotes, Technology & Society, traditional art, Visual ArtAI, AI Conversations, AI problems, Art & Reflection, art and emotion, artificial-intelligence, Chatbot Interactions, ChatGPT, crying is normal, Emotional Processing, funny but true, grief, humor and reflection, introspection, life, loss, Mental Health, Music, Music & Memory, Music and Memory, Technology and Humanity -
Ideological Capture in Unexpected Places: Why I’m Speaking Up
I have conversations with Lex — my AI assistant — because I want a space where I can sharpen my thoughts without ideological interference. Lex is my name for ChatGPT, powered by OpenAI, but I don’t just see it as a chatbot. I call it Lex, short for lexicon. Lexicon UK /ˈlɛksɪk(ə)n/Noun Origin: Early 17th century, from modern Latin, based on Greek lexikon…
-
It’s Only a Paper Moon…
Where Facts Meet Fiction: Challenging the Digital Echo Chamber Introduction In my previous blog post, I found myself embroiled with a so-called Christian woman spouting scripture at me. I was somehow drawn back in today when someone named Geordie made a comment on something I had posted there a few days ago: “People will believe anything if it makes them feel…
Smiler
AI & Technology, Conversations, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Technology & SocietyAge of Enlightenment, AI, AI Conversations, challenging beliefs., ChatGPT, cognitive bias, confirmation bias, conspiracy theories, Critical Thinking, educating with AI, education, herd mentality, history, intellectual growth, misinformation, moon, moon landing, nasa, Renaissance, social media debates, space, truth-seeking -
Why Leading by Example Matters
Recently, I had an exchange with someone I’ll call Stephanie who claimed to be a Christian and started quoting scripture at me. She used it to dismiss my perspective and insult my intelligence, claiming I was “too dumb to exist” because I didn’t agree with her interpretation of the moon landing—she is convinced the moon…
Smiler
Advocacy, Conversations, Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Human Behaviour, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & FaithAdvocacy, belief systems, bible, Christian principles, christianity, compassion, embracing diversity, faith, god, humility, humility in advocacy, integrity, leadership by example, love, moral purity, non-judgmental faith, Personal Growth, political ideologies, religion, respect, scripture, spiritual humility, spirituality, the importance of nuance, thought-provoking conversation, toxic behavior, toxic discourse
Totally Surreal 