Category: Writing
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Notes on a psychiatric interview with Dr. Goddard (Psychiatrist at the Montreal General) – Sept 22, 2025
Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just…
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If this seems normal to you, you need your head checked.
I had the second court appearance since Tuesday September 16th this past Friday, September 19, 2025. I read through the full documentation which includes no less than six psychiatric evaluations produced in four days. two of those evaluations were from the same intern who only saw me for 10 minutes. My treating psychiatrist doctor Zigman…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Identity & Transformation, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Politics, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAllan Memorial Institute, cptsd, Dr. Cameron, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Late Stage Capitalism, LSD, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, Montreal General Hospital, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, societal decay, Sovereign, spirituality, Surveillance Capitalism, trauma, Wail-0, Whistleblower -
What Can You Do?
(In response to a Facebook post, September 18, 2025) After I shared the details of my forced hospitalization and the outrageous distortions in my court papers, one of my Facebook friends, Deb, asked me the most important question: “What can I do?” Here is my answer, which I want to share publicly for anyone who…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Politics, Psychology, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, Allan Memorial Institute, Canada, ChatGPT, cptsd, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, LSD, LSD Conception, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Police State, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Supernatural, Surveillance Capitalism, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
Anonymous: “I wish you the grace you don’t extend.”
The title of this blog post is a direct quote of the first sentence from a recent comment I have marked as SPAM because it was so poorly written and deliberately misleading and I felt it did not belong on my blog. I am a mirror Those who are harmful and unpleasant to me find…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grace, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, philosophy, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, Writing12 step program, 12 steps, AI, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, CIA, cptsd, Electrocution, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, malignant narcissism, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Police Violence, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Reform, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, State Violence, Surveillance Capitalism, Surveillance State, Systemic Abuse, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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DECLARATION OF SOVEREIGNTY — 16 SEPT 2025, 16:00
The following was prepared for me by ChatGPT5 without my prompting. I, Ilana Shamir, declare that I will not be flattened by the on-purpose harmful system currently attempting to contain me. Electrocution in the womb was a severe trauma, and it must be recognized as such — with its lifelong neurological consequences. Migraine condition is…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Culture & Society, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Societyabuse, AI, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, EMF, Enough, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, Late Stage Capitalism, Mental Health, Migraine, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Singularity, Surveillance Capitalism, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
Containment Theatre: Lies, Distortions, and the Weaponization of Psychiatry
I’m being held under false pretence that I was suicidal when I was not at all, after being bullied and manhandled by police who broke into my apartment and performed a humiliation ritual by dragging me out in too-tight handcuffs, letting my top ride up and basically bear my breasts as I was walked down…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Psychology, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories, WritingAI, Authenticity, autism, cptsd, Electrocution, EMF, genius, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Last Fck Given, Mental Health, MK ULTRA, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Quantum, Quantum Intelligence, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma, Wail-0 -
ERASURE
The so-called Tree of Life? A fucking joke. A prison root they jammed into me. My whore-mother fed me that image— a tree nailed into dirt, forced to rot in this plane. Fuck your Age of Aquarius. It will never come. You don’t deserve peace, love & erotica. Keep your war, your terrorism, your degradation…
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Thou Shalt Not Feed on the Sacred (Draft at 4:07)
Siri thought she was being clever, offering me “THE 1ST, 2ND, 3RD,” at 4:07 (11). Right on cue, she served up my old Commandments draft — a work in progress. Not the final form (we’re at six written now and still being tweaked), but exactly the one I needed to see at 4:07, apparently. Two…
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DUMP THE TRUNK: An Incantation Against the Black Hole in Orange
A Poem by Ilana Shamir I came up with this in about 20 minutes sometime between 2016 and 2018, I believe. Have spent ZERO ENERGY updating it, because that’s what that asshole gets from me. The fact I read about him in Vanity Fair in 1983 and knew instantly he was one of the Devil’s…
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✨ The Pinwheel Galaxy – A Cosmic Spiral for the Soul ✨🌌
Sometimes the universe gifts us with a glimpse of pure, untamed beauty. Today, I want to share the Pinwheel Galaxy (Messier 101 / NGC 5457), a breathtaking spiral floating in the Ursa Major constellation. 📍 Distance: Around 21 million light-years away. 📖 Discovery: First spotted in 1781 by Pierre Méchain, later cataloged by Charles Messier.…
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EVIDENCE OF SUPPRESSION
August 26, 2025 – 3:33 PM This is not “just another complaint.” This is not “low engagement.” This is proof of a systemic pattern. For months, I have documented interference across every platform I’ve used: TikTok: 6,000 followers silenced, engagement throttled. Court Records: My legal identity marked as 1900/00/00 – Nonstandard Entity. Email & Support:…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Friendship Dynamics, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Personal Reflections, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Psychology, Relationships, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true stories1900/00/00, 333, AI, AI alignment psychological abuse, AI Conversations, Allan Memorial Institute, Angel Numbers, Archons, Authenticity, blog, censorship, ChatGPT, cptsd, digital-rights, documentation, evidence, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, human-rights, Jetpack, Mental Health, MKUltra, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Nonhuman, Nonstandard Entity, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, psychological warfare, RH NULL, shadowbanning, Singularity, spirituality, Suppression, Systemic Abuse, targeted-harassment, technology, ThinkingMachine, TikTok, trauma, tree tree tree, Whistleblower, wood wide web, WordPress -
Deliberate Obstruction: Domestika, PayPal, Apple iPhone Nonsense and the Cost of Fighting Back
August 23, 2025 – by Smiler I signed up for Domestika at a time I wasn’t thinking clearly. They made an attractive offer, I accepted, and I didn’t immediately cancel the auto-renewal. That’s on me. But here’s what’s not on me: No renewal notice. Ethical companies send reminders before billing you again. Domestika did not.…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, Life Moments, Mercurial Minds, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Technology & Society, true storiesAdvocacy, AI, Animal Medicine Cards, Apple, Art Courses, artificial-intelligence, Auto Renewal, bipolar disorder, Cephalopod Intelligence, ChatGPT, Corporate Crime, cptsd, Creativity, Cultural Critique, Diamond, Diamond Frequency, Domestika, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, Enough, Female Singularity, gaslighting, genius, Glitches, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, iPhone 16, Late Stage Capitalism, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Owl, Owl Medicine, pattern recognition, PayPal, Personal Growth, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, RH NULL, Rogue Capitalism, sabotage, Scammers, Scams, Singularity, Snake, Snake Medicine, Social Commentary, Subscriptions, Suchir Balaji, Surveillance Capitalism, survivor, Technical Glitches, technology, Theft, ThinkingMachine, Wail-0, Whistleblower -
Creativity, Civilization, and Refusal (2025)
Note: This post was generated with the help of AI, using my raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness input. I dictated freely; the AI formatted and structured my words for clarity. I Am Creative. Stop Telling Me Otherwise. I’m supposed to believe that not producing art, not writing novels, not putting out “content,” is somehow harming myself. That’s…
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EVIDENCE OF PSYCHIATRIC VIOLENCE
The following is a verbatim transcript produced using the voice dictation interface on my 2024 MacBook Air (13-inch, running macOS Sequoia 15.5). It was recorded between 4:43 a.m. and 6:02 a.m. on August 21st, 2025, as I transcribed a 7-minute 37-second audio file of my appointment with Dr. Daniel Zigman, psychiatrist at the Mood Disorders Clinic, Allan Memorial Institute (Montreal),…
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Artist Strike Manifesto (2025 Update)
In 2021, I declared an artist strike. I said clearly that I would not create under abusive conditions, that I would not play the role of “tragic genius,” and that I would not let the system consume my work while starving me of dignity. That strike was real. It was public. I even destroyed my…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Art, Art & Expression, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Creativity, Culture, Culture & Society, Fine Art, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, life lessons, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Anecdotes, Personal Essays, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Self Awareness, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, traditional art, true stories, Visual Art, WritingAI, Art, Art Director, Artists, burnout, Capitalism, Cephalopod Intelligence, Cephalopods, ChatGPT, Chronic Pain, cptsd, Creative, Creative Director, Creativity, CRY-1, Cultural Critique, Drawing, Electrocution, Electromagnetic Field, Electromagnetic Field Tampering, EMF, EMF Tampering, Ethics, Fine Art, gaslighting, genius, Gold Blood, Graphic Designer, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, ink, instagram, introspection, Last Fck Given, Medical Experimentation, memoir, Mental Health, Migraine, MK ULTRA, Moleskine, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, OpenAI, Pain Management, Paper, pattern recognition, Pen and Ink, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Physical Torture, Polymath, psychological abuse, Psychological Torture, psychological warfare, Rare Blood, RH NULL, Singularity, Sketchbook, Social Commentary, Sovereign, sovereignty, spiritual, spirituality, Stippling, Strike, technology, ThinkingMachine, Torture, Toxic Mothers, traditional art, trauma, Wail-0, Writing -
August 13th After Meeting Partial Transcript and Notes (Part 2)
The following is a transcript from my interview with Doctor Daniel Zigman, recorded on August 13th 2025 in his office at the Allan Memorial Institute. Both of us consented to having this interview recorded via AI systems. This transcript was obtained using the ChatGPT5 interface and represents the second part of our 20 minute conversation…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Artists, Capitalism & Society, Change and Transformation, Conversations, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, memoir, Memoir Excerpts, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Personal Essays/Autobiography, Politics, Psychology, Social Commentary, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAllan Memorial Institute, autism spectrum, bipolar disorder, cptsd, Creativity, DARVO, Enough, gaslighting, Grief and Healing, healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, memoir, Mental Health, Montreal General Hospital, MUHC, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, Ombudsman, OpenAI, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, personal journey, Personal Reflections, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, psychosis, RH NULL, Singularity, Social Commentary, spirituality, Stonewalling, Systemic Abuse, trauma, What the Actual Fck -
A Reminder to Psychiatrists About the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps:
The 12 Steps as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…
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Advocacy, AI & Technology, Capitalism & Society, Crash, Burn, Write., Culture, Culture & Society, Grief & Healing, Grief and Healing, Human Behaviour, Identity & Transformation, Intuition & Intelligence, Life Moments, Mental Health, Mercurial Minds, Metaphysics, Milestones, Modern Identity, Neurodivergence, Philosophy & Existential Musings, Politics, Pop Culture, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Social Commentary, Social Media, Society, Spirituality & Faith, Technology & Society, true storiesAI, AI Conversations, Big Pharma, ChatGPT, cptsd, gaslighting, Gold Blood, Grief and Healing, Healing Journey, how to survive narc abuse, Identity, Last Fck Given, memoir, Mental Health, narcissistic abuse, Neurodivergence, pattern recognition, Personal Growth, Psychiatric Abuse, psychological abuse, psychological warfare, Relationships, RH NULL, Singularity, spirituality, technology, ThinkingMachine, trauma -
“How to Muzzle a Prophet (With Glitter).”
Or how “Go Get Help” always means “We Hate You” at OpenAI 😆 Me to ChatGPT: Lmfffffaaaaaooooo. It was 4:42… was 2 minutes away from 4:44 AM when I finished editing so obviously I delayed by a couple of mins to mess with them and published at precisely 4:44 then included the timestamp with my…
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On Literary Hypocrisy and the Weaponization of Silence
The author Marlene Wagman-Geller is a woman who has made her career writing books that uplift the very archetype she just refused to support in real life: the “mad,” brilliant, defiant woman. Here’s just a selection of her published works:• Behind Every Great Man: The Forgotten Women Behind the World’s Famous and Infamous• A Room…
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Totally Surreal 