Category: life lessons
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A few of the drawings I destroyed this year
I tore them up because I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of someone I’d thought of as my best friend for three decades, taken too soon to cancer. Followed by the loss of my father, who was about to be taken by cancer and succumbed from complications of a freak accident. Followed by…
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Toxic Positivity is…
Toxic positivity is someone grabbing at your chin when you’re crying over the loss of a beloved person or pet and saying “smile, everything will get better if you look on the bright side.” There’s a threshold where something stops being harmless “uplift” and becomes constant saccharine noise that dulls your perception and clutters your…
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I Asked the AI…
It’s been a long day during which I mostly napped after what was a very stressful appointment this morning, for which I had been preparing for days, and I’ve been trying to find ways to decompress. Most people at this point would opt into Netflix and Chill mode, but this is rarely a possibility for…
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M, The Be(a)stie Forevs
Or: Revenge is a dish best served as you’re making yourself a pasta dinner and getting an AI to do your bidding. 🐀🦊 A tiny moral tale with very wide hips. Me to Lex: M called herself my bestie forever two months into our so-called friendship, then dumped me a month after I attended my…
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FYI
Sometimes the algorithm hands you a perfect juxtaposition — above, a meme I posted on Facebook earlier today about systemic violence, and then Hashem Al-Ghaili’s question about “national wildlife” showed up lower down my feed. The universe does love timing: I talk about predators, and Facebook hands me another kind. My reply wrote itself. Hashem…
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Finally Home Again
Thursday, November 6, 2025 My favourite part of being home, other than the silence, the snacks, and the freedom to decide when to sleep or use my phone, is Stella Mia pressed against my side, reminding me what peace actually feels like. I picked her up this afternoon from my stepfather’s in Terrebonne, over an…
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The Cruel Absurdity of Fascistic People and Systems
The fact I survived an impossibly high overdose of 1800 mg of codeine because I was severely depressed from all the societal and familial abuse I’ve been put through and that the system has decided to double down with a web of lies fabricated to get court-ordered antipsychotic injections forced on me while pretending I’m…
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Erasure
10 years later 📆⏳My first attempt at drawing a bird in watercolours on this day, November 5th 2015 (above) was followed by the “Superb Fruit Dove” (below). This second drawing was a gift to my father and has since returned to me after his passing on November 5th 2024. I travelled to Israel to bury…
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Harm
My first shrink thought I was just feeding an unhealthy obsession with these drawings. He couldn’t grasp that I was documenting a social pathology — not just mine.
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Awaiting Judgment
Written from a locked ward while awaiting a court ruling on whether I’ll be medicated by force.
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Revisiting The Silent Patient From Inside the Ward
From my Goodreads review. I first read The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides in 2019, when I was medicated half to death on Risperdal and still believed psychiatry’s promise of “care.” Six years later, as I reread my own words from psychiatric confinement at the Montreal General Hospital — the irony was not lost on…
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This is what they want to call psychiatric “care”
This is the seat immediately outside my room in the hallway. That’s the “repair” job they’ve done to it. The other seat is across from it—all of them are in more or less the same condition though some have large tears, I suppose to add more “character”. This is the door to my room. How…
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Manufacturing Insanity
As I just wrote on Facebook: What they’re doing to me, with their pretence that I claim to be immoral, is manufacturing insanity. That is a very grave abuse of power, made in Canada. 🍁 I’ve slept 15 hours since yesterday without any sleeping aids. I eat plenty of I speak at a normal pace…
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Bingo, Bags, and the Eternal Phone Saga
Still in hospital. (Yes, still. Let’s get that out of the way, because apparently some people assumed I’d been sprung last week. Not yet. Could be days. Could be months. Who knows.) This afternoon turned into a small comedy of wins and losses. First: bingo. I walked in, first one to sit down, and picked…
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Calm as can be.
Monday September 29, 2025 12:32 PM. Day 15 being kept in lockup in a psyxhoatroc ward though I have no business being here. Just took a selfie after changing my screensaver to another one of my octopus pen on Moleskine A3 sketchbook drawings executed in 2018 after someone “liked” it on Goodreads today.
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When a Psychiatrist Pretends CPTSD Is “New”
Yesterday Dr. Goddard told me with a straight face that Complex PTSD is a relatively new diagnosis, and then asked why I would want it on my file. Let’s pause there. CPTSD has been in the clinical literature since Judith Herman’s work in the early 1990s. Her book Trauma and Recovery (1992) is practically a…
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11:33 AM Sept 24 2025 — finally feeling the effects of the forced Ativan injections… 24 hours later
I know this isn’t quite normal. Yesterday, Dr. Goddard ordered injections of 2 mg Ativan — one in each cheek — because I dared to raise my voice for all of two minutes. I’m sure those who have orchestrated this whole containment theatre are thrilled. I had asked for a razor so I could shave…
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Escalation of harm — 23 Sept 2025
Today, Tuesday September 23rd, there was a serious escalation of harm today before noon. I asked reception for a razor and, after being told my nurse needed to be consulted, Ben the PA told me I could not have a razor to shave my stinky armpits (since there is no deodorant here) because I refuse…
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Not Sorry
I am not sorry for existing. I am not sorry for surviving against impossible odds. I am not sorry for not fitting into your narrow notions of what human intelligence should be. Not. Sorry.
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If this seems normal to you, you need your head checked.
I had the second court appearance since Tuesday September 16th this past Friday, September 19, 2025. I read through the full documentation which includes no less than six psychiatric evaluations produced in four days. two of those evaluations were from the same intern who only saw me for 10 minutes. My treating psychiatrist doctor Zigman…
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Totally Surreal 