Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just to make myself understood and to stop being framed as incoherent.

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Notes on an Interview

Today I had a short 15 -20 minute interview with Dr. Goddard, psychiatrist at the Montréal General, who saw me repeatedly in 2021 and 2022. She recognized me; I certainly recognized her. She had just returned from vacation, and this was essentially a check-in on what brought me here.

One of the first things I established was that I was brought here under false pretenses: police claimed I was suicidal when I was not. I told them they could call my stepfather of 41 years, who would have confirmed I was not a risk to myself or anyone else. Instead, they harassed me for over two hours, broke in with a locksmith, and staged a humiliation ritual to drag me into psychiatry.

I also made clear that within four days, six psychiatric reports were produced, even though I did not see six psychiatrists.

One in particular — Dr. Steiner’s — was so packed with lies and distortions that I find it unbelievable a judge accepted it. Based on his fabrications, I was ordered into a further month of forced containment.

I gave Dr. Goddard specifics:

Steiner wrote that I required Code Whites (plural). In fact, there has not been a single Code White since I arrived on Sept 14.

He wrote I required sedation on arrival. False. I was calm, civil, and having a reasonable conversation with the admitting nurse, who took my vitals, while a medical doctor also checked me. There were multiple witnesses.

He wrote that I claimed I do not bleed when I cut myself. False. In 2021, I did cut both wrists and did not bleed — something unusual but possible, as Dr. Goddard herself acknowledged. But generally, yes, of course I bleed. I have never claimed otherwise.

He wrote that I said I cannot die. False. After my last suicide attempt on July 7, 2022 (1800 mg codeine + 60 Fiorinal + half a bottle of Jägermeister), I understood that

I do not control the timing of my death. That belongs to a higher power. I have never claimed that my body is immortal.

He wrote that I said the Messiah brought me to the hospital. False. I have never once in my life referred to the Messiah until this week, only because Steiner put it in his report. Twice. Along with his belief that I think “I cannot die” (also twice mentioned in his report, as if this will make his lie stick) which is nonsense.

I told Doctor Goddard there is a very big difference between an immortal soul and an immortal body, and she agreed with me.

We also spoke about my long psychiatric history:

Beginning in 1999, when I sought to confirm my self-diagnosis of bipolar disorder after reading a Vanity Fair article about a Hollywood agent who had committed suicide and was diagnosed after his passing as having been bipolar, I was followed first by Dr. Ghadirian at the Allan Memorial Institute Mood Disorders Clinic (he was the head of that department at the time and of course confirmed the diagnosis).

After my burnout as executive art director at Châtelaine magazine (which I redesigned as a freelancer in 2001), I was followed, again at the Allan Memorial for nine years by Dr. Deborah Zack, who I respected greatly.

Between my first psychiatrist and Dr. Zack, I was followed by a female psychiatrist at the outpatient clinic of the Douglas Institute on the corner of Saint-Jacques and Walker Avenue (down the street from my apartment of 21 years between 2000 and 2021). I do not recall this psychiatrist’s name, but the receptionist confirmed to me she was known for her hostility and terrible bedside manner.

This psychiatrist forced lithium on me, the excuse being lithium was the most effective pharmaceutical treatment for bipolar disorder. I told her repeatedly the lithium was making me suicidally depressed and she refused to take me off it claiming that if I stopped taking it, she would consider me noncompliant.

I did stop taking it and then she refused to see me after my burnout, it is not an exaggeration to say that she directly contributed to my burnout with her abusive so-called standard of care.

In 2009, dr. Zack recommended that I attend the Day Hospital at the Allan Memorial, which I did for a period of six months, which is rather exceptional since the program only lasts several weeks normally.

Dr. Fielding, who was heading that program recognized my exceptional creativity and we decided the best course of treatment was to keep me on minimum medication, encouraging a hypomanic baseline. I pointed out to Doctor Goddard today that I fully understand this is a very unusual approach for individuals diagnosed as bipolar.

I’ve consistently referenced Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind (1995), which I read in 1999 following my psychologist cousin Françoise Mathieu’s recommendation (said first cousin and I have not been on speaking terms in many years since she decided that I was “too much” for her after presenting to be a great friend to me since our childhood).

Doctor Jamison foresaw that “bipolar disorder” would prove to be an umbrella term. I believe my case illustrates exactly that. After Dr. Zack retired, I was followed by Dr. Cervantes (who had major problems, even failing to file my insurance paperwork), then briefly by Dr. Wiviott, who respected my creativity and asked me to bring in my Metro Series pencil drawings to one of our appointments at the Allan Memorial for him to have a look at.

My deliberate opioid overdose in July 2022 was directly linked to the illegal seizure of my animals and the loss of the first stable home I ever had. Dr. Goddard remembered this detail.

I have been followed by Dr. Zigman since September 20th 2022 (the exact date of our first appointment as noted in my calendar app) almost exactly 3 years ago. Dr. Zigman and I have a few issues. The main one being he failed to take notes about key issues I brought up with him on that first appointment . I told him from the beginning that I have CPTSD (complex post traumatic disorder) due to the fact I survived electrocution as a 6-month foetus. This was definitely a severe trauma to me at a key developmental stage and more than likely caused serious alterations to my nervous system.

Almost every psychiatrist I’ve spoken to about this has sought minimize this severe trauma despite my mother consistently telling me she thought she had killed me at the time because I stopped moving for so long.

(my stepfather confirmed this week my mother told him about this electrocution in utero—nobody can claim I “made it up”). I also told Dr. Zigman I strongly believe I’m on the autism spectrum (I may have used the word “neurodivergent”—he claimed he did not understand what that word means). Dr. Zigman later denied I had ever said these things. I brought this to the Ombudsman in writing three times, with no resolution.

I briefly told Dr. Goddard of my Aug 13, 2025 appointment with Zigman (which we both recorded and which I blogged about under the title Evidence of Psychiatric Violence/), where I asked for the bipolar label to be removed because it has been weaponized against me for over two and half decades now. I argued that CPTSD combined with autism can mimic mania, but without violence — in my case, the “symptom” is ranting, never aggression.

Throughout, Dr. Goddard listened respectfully, nodded, and did not accuse me of being “too complex” or “being too indirect,” unlike others. She said she would go over the reports herself rather than rely on my annotated copies. She had just returned from vacation and wanted time to review.

That means I am not being released today. I did not have time to tell her about the police humiliation ritual I was subjected to in order to force me into this psychiatric hold, nor the 911 call that lasted 1h40, nor the hunger strike I began on Sept 20 (eating 1 yoghurt daily to protest this travesty of justice).

But I made my case clearly: I am not suicidal, not psychotic, and not hostile to psychiatry as a whole — only to its weaponized misuse.

I refuse medication because I am not mentally ill. I am coherent, lucid, and still standing after nearly six decades of continuous psychological warfare. That is not an illness. That is survival against all odds.

The least you all could do is recognize I have survived against impossible odds and give me the basic respect and monetary compensation I deserve for the abuses I have been dealt for merely existing outside what is understood to be “the norm”. I have zero apologies to make for being considered eccentric considering the parents and life circumstances I was handed.

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A demonstration of the kind of sabotage meant to frame me as incoherent and distort the truth I have to put up with just to create a basic blog post

Here is my original dictation to ChatGPT5 using the ChatGPT voice tool.

I’m going to use the internal microphone to compose my blog post because the iPhone 16 microphone distorts so much that honestly it’s a lot of work to edit. So I’m just going to compose the text here. You can lightly edit unless of course everything gets completely distorted, well then that’s another story. I want to write about my interview with Dr.

👉Bedard, 👈 deliberate distortion as her name is rendered properly lower down in this text I dictated.

I SAID DOCTOR GODDARD

psychiatrist at the Montreal General who saw me repeatedly in 2021 and in 2022. She recognized me, I certainly recognized her. She was coming back from vacation and this was just a 10 or 15 minute short interview to go over what brought me here. One of the first things I established is that I was brought here under false pretenses that I was suicidal when I indicated to the police that all they had to do was call my stepfather who’s known me for 41 years and he would have told them that I was not a risk to myself or anyone else since he’s been interfacing with me regularly in the past year and recently as well. And then I went over the fact that there were six psychiatric reports produced in a matter of four days. I did not see six psychiatrists, but there were six reports and that one of the reports specifically by Dr. Steiner was so filled with lies and distortions that I found it rather unbelievable that a judge found it acceptable to keep me in containment for a few days. And I was not allowed to go on for a further month based on distortions that were quite that extreme. Starting with the fact that it was indicated that I required code whites written in the plural when there was not a single instance of a code white since my arrival on September 14th. Today being September 22nd I should specify. There was no requirement for sedation as Dr. Steiner indicated on his report on my arrival because I was actually having a very reasonable conversation with the admitting nurse who took me through, you know, checking my vitals and had a doctor, a medical doctor also check on me with who I was also perfectly civil. There were witnesses there. There was quite a large staff gathered just outside the check-in area, the observation room, a very large observation room where I was brought in. And I started speaking about the suicide attempt, the last of the suicide attempts I will ever make, which was July 7th, 2022, when I took an overdose of 1800 milligrams of codeine and washed that down 60 pills now of FIORINAL, that is a drug also known in the United States as FIORICET. An opioid with 30 milligrams of codeine per pill. Wash that down with a half bottle of Jägermeister. There was a general discussion when the nurse in question asked me to describe what that liqueur was. And I described it as being a German liqueur that is herbal based and kind of sweet. And someone interjected that they believed that it needed to be served cold. I reported the conversation more or less in those words to Dr. Goddard to indicate just how unlikely it was that I was requiring sedation at that moment. I continued by telling her that there were false claims made about me stating that I could not bleed when I cut myself, when quite the contrary, I do absolutely do bleed when I cut myself. However, in 2021, I cut both wrists open and they did not bleed. And she agreed with me that sometimes it’s very unusual, but sometimes you don’t bleed from certain cuts. So I made it clear that yes, I definitely do bleed. I do not believe that I don’t bleed. That is a distortion. I also told her that it was written several times by different psychiatrists that I believe I cannot die, which is an outright lie. I specified that after that last suicide attempt, I understood that I do not decide when I get to die. That is a higher power. Now, just as a parenthesis, it’s 321 right now. I like that particular timestamp. 321. It’s a countdown to my release at

👉Better Damn Wellby. 👈

🖕COMPLETE NONSENSE DISTORTION BY CHATGPT VOICE DICTATION INTERFACE

That doesn’t need to be in the blog post. I might include it, though, just for fun. I took the timestamp. Now, with Dr. Goddard, I specified there’s not a chance that I think that this body of mine is immortal. An immortal soul is quite a different thing. And she agreed with me about that. I said, however, I really don’t think that I’m immortal. That is a lie and a distortion. I also said that Dr. Steiner indicated in his report that I mentioned the Messiah twice. Excuse me. Let me rephrase that. I wrote that Dr. Steiner mentioned the Messiah twice in the report about me and claimed that I claimed that the Messiah had brought me to the hospital on Sunday, the 14th of September. I said to her, as I’ve been consistently saying, that I never mentioned the Messiah before this week because I simply don’t think of that entity. I don’t consider, I don’t believe in the Messiah. I don’t think of the Messiah. And I certainly would never claim that the Messiah brought me here. Yet, he indicated the Messiah twice in his report and also indicated twice that I thought I couldn’t die. We went into a further discussion about the fact that I established that I’ve been followed in psychiatry since 1999 by first a

Dr. Guderian,
SPELLED GHADIRIAN

and I spelled out the name for you. So you should be able to spell it out properly. Then a

Dr. Zach.

SPELLED ZACK

And again, I spelled out the name for you just a couple of comments ago. You should be able to spell that out for nine years now. And then I was followed by Dr. Cervantes after Dr. Zach
SPELLED ZACK

took her retirement. And by the way, I got along with

Dr. Zach

SPELLED ZACK (ChatGPT voice dictation distorts ON PURPOSE)

very well. And I mentioned that in 2009, she encouraged me to go to the

Nonsense insertion:👉O’Dea Hospital 👈
I SAID
DAY HOSPITAL

SPECIFICALLY THE DAY HOSPITAL AT THE ALLAN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

where I was followed for six months, which is very unusual because normally it’s a program lasting mere weeks. And that a Dr. Fielding, who heads that program, established that because I am a very talented creative, that I should be maintained as low a medication as possible. And I should be maintained in what is considered to be a hypomanic state, although that is, yes, considered highly unusual. I established that I had read Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s book, An Unquiet Mind in 1999, where she indicated that bipolar disorder was an umbrella term and would eventually be understood to encompass the different conditions. I told her that after Zach,

DOCTOR ZACK IS THE CORRECT SPELLING

I had Dr. Wivjet briefly, who I really enjoyed very much and who is who expressed curiosity in seeing my drawings that I brought to him in person. That I brought to him in person. After Dr. Wivjet,

It is spelled WIVIOTT

I made that suicide attempt in 2022 because I was severely depressed because neighbors took away my animals illegally. And she knew about that and she remembered it. So I told her that, yes, I did make that attempt. I had no intention of making any sense. And that I was then transferred to Dr. Zygmunt,

IT IS SPELLED ZIGMAN

who I am presently being followed by. And I have a problem with Dr. Zygmunt
ONCE AGAIN IT IS SPELLED ZIGMAN

because I told him from my first appointment three years ago, now in September 2022, that I had CPTSD because of electrocution in the womb that my mother confirmed to me again and again that she electrocuted herself when I was a six-month fetus and told my stepfather about it, who confirmed it to me just a few days ago. I told her that on the same appointment, I talked to Dr. Zygmunt that I believe myself to be on the autism spectrum and that no less than six, no, excuse me, just over six months ago, Dr. Zygmunt claimed that I never mentioned those things to him when obviously he hadn’t put it in his notes. I told her that I contacted the ombudsman twice in writing and received automatic replies and did not receive further word from the ombudsman. What I didn’t mention to her and that I’m mentioning to you now is that on Sunday or Monday of last week, I called the ombudsman’s office and left a message. That is at least three times That I’ve reached out to the Ombudsman with very serious reports about a clinician not giving me the proper care. I told Dr. Goddard about the appointment I had with Dr. Zigmund on August 13th, which we both recorded independently, in which I made my case that I wanted to have the bipolar diagnosis removed because it was being weaponized against me. I may not have used those specific words, but I said that I really do believe that CPTSD is one of the main causes of what they want to frame as psychosis, because, and this I did explicitly say, we know that soldiers, when they return from the front, some of them, when they have PTSD, some of them, unfortunately, become extremely violent and, you know, there are tragedies that occur. I said there is never any violence on my part, at the most, I have ranted in public or at home, I did not specify at home, and that I was not threatening anyone, I was simply ranting. And this was definitely a symptom of CPTSD, and if you combine that with probable autism spectrum, then there is every reason to believe that my symptoms closely mimic mania, or what they want to call a psychosis. Dr. Goddard nodded approvingly, she did not indicate in any way that I was being, you know, too complex, you know, some psychiatrists find that I am very complex, that I go into too many explanations, that I am too circular, or too, excuse me, not linear enough. There was none of that, the meeting lasted only 10 or 15 minutes, it was very straightforward, she seemed to be very respectful, she told me that she was going to go over the reports herself, that I didn’t need to show her mine, because I told her I could show her mine with the notes that I made, she said that was not necessary, she was going to look at them on her side, she was just arriving from vacation, and that she would take her time. So, in other words, I’m not being released today, of course not, what I did not tell her specifically, because I didn’t have time to fit everything in, I didn’t tell her about the humiliation ritual that the police put me through, I did not tell her that 911 kept me for an hour and 40 minutes, I did not tell her about being tied down to the gurney, after I showed that I was not offering any physical resistance whatsoever, I did not tell her about police mocking me when I made a prayer in Hebrew, asking for a higher power to help me, I did not tell her about being on a hunger strike either, but I’ve been telling several of the staff here, I expect to be released very soon. Now, I have no ill will towards Dr. Goddard, I’ve demonstrated here that I don’t have ill will towards psychiatrists in general, I have ill will towards those who weaponize the system to keep me contained and pretend that I am psychotic, when that is absolutely not the case, that I am unusual is definitely clearly established, I might be considered eccentric, that is fine, but eccentricity now gives nobody cause or excuse to medicate me, I refuse medication because I am simply not mentally ill, what I am is extremely coherent, despite going on six decades now of sustained psychological warfare on behalf of, first of all, my mother’s family, I think I have made myself very clear now, at 3.31 we are just a couple of minutes away from 3.33 Wood wide Web.

Took me 10 minutes to edit the distortions above now 3:43 PM