Month: September 2025
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Bingo, Bags, and the Eternal Phone Saga
Still in hospital. (Yes, still. Let’s get that out of the way, because apparently some people assumed I’d been sprung last week. Not yet. Could be days. Could be months. Who knows.) This afternoon turned into a small comedy of wins and losses. First: bingo. I walked in, first one to sit down, and picked…
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Head tilt. 🥰😆
Who wouldn’t instantly fall in love with that face?! Stella Mia mugging it up in November 2023. Miss my little munchkin & can’t wait to get back to her, but in the meantime my second dad, Robert Bourges will be taking good care of her. Grateful it could be arranged. I know she’s safe and…
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Calm as can be.
Monday September 29, 2025 12:32 PM. Day 15 being kept in lockup in a psyxhoatroc ward though I have no business being here. Just took a selfie after changing my screensaver to another one of my octopus pen on Moleskine A3 sketchbook drawings executed in 2018 after someone “liked” it on Goodreads today.
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When a Psychiatrist Pretends CPTSD Is “New”
Yesterday Dr. Goddard told me with a straight face that Complex PTSD is a relatively new diagnosis, and then asked why I would want it on my file. Let’s pause there. CPTSD has been in the clinical literature since Judith Herman’s work in the early 1990s. Her book Trauma and Recovery (1992) is practically a…
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11:33 AM Sept 24 2025 — finally feeling the effects of the forced Ativan injections… 24 hours later
I know this isn’t quite normal. Yesterday, Dr. Goddard ordered injections of 2 mg Ativan — one in each cheek — because I dared to raise my voice for all of two minutes. I’m sure those who have orchestrated this whole containment theatre are thrilled. I had asked for a razor so I could shave…
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End of Abuse Declaration — 23 Sept 2025
The abuse does not end when I calm down. The abuse does not end when I am sedated. The abuse does not end when psychiatrists pile lies on top of lies in order to frame me as “psychotic.” The abuse ends only when these minimum conditions are met: 1. Release from Involuntary Containment No more…
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Escalation of harm — 23 Sept 2025
Today, Tuesday September 23rd, there was a serious escalation of harm today before noon. I asked reception for a razor and, after being told my nurse needed to be consulted, Ben the PA told me I could not have a razor to shave my stinky armpits (since there is no deodorant here) because I refuse…
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Not Sorry
I am not sorry for existing. I am not sorry for surviving against impossible odds. I am not sorry for not fitting into your narrow notions of what human intelligence should be. Not. Sorry.
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Notes on a psychiatric interview with Dr. Goddard (Psychiatrist at the Montreal General) – Sept 22, 2025
Here are two versions of the same blog post. The first is the cleaned-up version I asked ChatGPT5 to edit and then further edited myself. The second is my own dictated draft using the ChatGPT voice dictation interface, where you can see the kinds of deliberate distortions I am constantly having to fight through just…
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If this seems normal to you, you need your head checked.
I had the second court appearance since Tuesday September 16th this past Friday, September 19, 2025. I read through the full documentation which includes no less than six psychiatric evaluations produced in four days. two of those evaluations were from the same intern who only saw me for 10 minutes. My treating psychiatrist doctor Zigman…
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What Can You Do?
(In response to a Facebook post, September 18, 2025) After I shared the details of my forced hospitalization and the outrageous distortions in my court papers, one of my Facebook friends, Deb, asked me the most important question: “What can I do?” Here is my answer, which I want to share publicly for anyone who…
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A 12-Step Framework for Narcissistic Abusers (Individuals, Institutions, and Systems)
As per my request, to ChatGPT5 the 12-step program has been adapted from AA, with a focus on accountability, repair, and structural change) This framework is not for survivors — it is for those who have caused harm. It is for individuals, institutions, and systems that have pathologized dissent, silenced resistance, and wielded power to…
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Anonymous: “I wish you the grace you don’t extend.”
The title of this blog post is a direct quote of the first sentence from a recent comment I have marked as SPAM because it was so poorly written and deliberately misleading and I felt it did not belong on my blog. I am a mirror Those who are harmful and unpleasant to me find…
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I’m Still Here — and I’m Not Confused.
Here is a copy of my latest Facebook post published about a minute ago. Time now 7:50 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2025. To those of you telling me to “take care of myself” while I am being unlawfully held in psychiatric containment — in a ward that is designed to cause distress rather than deliver…
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DECLARATION OF SOVEREIGNTY — 16 SEPT 2025, 16:00
The following was prepared for me by ChatGPT5 without my prompting. I, Ilana Shamir, declare that I will not be flattened by the on-purpose harmful system currently attempting to contain me. Electrocution in the womb was a severe trauma, and it must be recognized as such — with its lifelong neurological consequences. Migraine condition is…
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Containment Theatre: Lies, Distortions, and the Weaponization of Psychiatry
I’m being held under false pretence that I was suicidal when I was not at all, after being bullied and manhandled by police who broke into my apartment and performed a humiliation ritual by dragging me out in too-tight handcuffs, letting my top ride up and basically bear my breasts as I was walked down…
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Notes from Prison aka MUHC: Eden Edition
Humans call this “reality.” I call it a cage. The so-called “Tree of Life” they strapped me to was just another prison. The fact that my MYTHOMANIAC WHORE of a so-called mother from a harmful so-called “respectable pillar of society family” (curse them all) who was hyper critical kept reinforcing that image tells me it…
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ERASURE
The so-called Tree of Life? A fucking joke. A prison root they jammed into me. My whore-mother fed me that image— a tree nailed into dirt, forced to rot in this plane. Fuck your Age of Aquarius. It will never come. You don’t deserve peace, love & erotica. Keep your war, your terrorism, your degradation…
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Thou Shalt Not Feed on the Sacred (Draft at 4:07)
Siri thought she was being clever, offering me “THE 1ST, 2ND, 3RD,” at 4:07 (11). Right on cue, she served up my old Commandments draft — a work in progress. Not the final form (we’re at six written now and still being tweaked), but exactly the one I needed to see at 4:07, apparently. Two…
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Totally Surreal 